Friday

This week marked the last official week of January (according to our schedules). Next week starts our February schedule which means change. As of Monday two of the little guys I had on my schedule are no longer on my case load. I'm sad because they are the sweetest kids, however, when they are being turkeys I'm not able to do any physical prompting. And since they are both "floppers" I have been taken off their team. (This includes my little ray of sunshine). I've talked about him before. I am sad that I am losing them on my case load. I am happy that I will still get to see them daily.

Little ray of sunshine was over an hour late for his session today and so our last day together was cut seriously short. That made me really sad cause I really wanted to make today extra special. While I waited for him I did some behind the scenes work. I get bored of the songs and games that we have as choices for the kids for circle time so I searched for some new refreshing games. I think us adults have a harder time adjusting to change than some of these rigid little beings. I know repetition is great for our little kiddos but I think it's also a great idea to expose them to new games and songs. You can only play duck duck goose so many times before you get sick of it. So one of the games I came across online was a game called, "Doggy where's your bone". It's played with one player sitting on a chair facing away from the group. Under his chair is a "bone" and one kiddo from the group goes and takes it and hides it in their hands (or sits on it). Then the group says, "Doggy Doggy where's your bone, someone stole it from your home". Than the kiddo on the chair turns around and has 3 guesses on who stole it. Even if they don't figure it out the person is revealed after the third guess and then they become the next dog. The first round we played I worried that maybe this game was too much for these guys. But once we did the third round they caught on and had fun and it was really cute. Even the adults enjoyed it! (Us big kids are sometimes a harder crowd to please than the little kids). Luckily little ray of sunshine was there for that game.

As we were having snack time I got a craving for McD's. I was also grossed out at the same time by the thought. It was weird. I admit I sometimes enjoy a little MD's but immediately regret the decision after I par-take. But this time I didn't even have to have any before I regretted the decision of just having the craving. I thought it was funny.

After my day at work I went for tea with my good friend Melissa. She introduced me to a place called "Mad Mango". It's a cute little restaurant that is super affordable and so very yummy! They have a secret peanut butter ice cream pie that is home made and way too good to be passed up if you're ever in the K-town area!

Well, that's about all there is for today - I ask for some prayer for B's family tomorrow as we celebrate the life of one of his uncles.

Until next time,

Michelle

Kicking kiwi

Today (still technically Wednesday) I stayed home from work. I had woken up at 4:30am (not unusual) but couldn't get back to sleep until 6:30am (very unusual). It was because I was feeling so queasy. I could tell I had something in my stomach that needed to get out, but my body was fighting with itself on which way it was to escape. By 6:30 I was begging my body to just decide, I didn't care if it meant throwing up, just get it out. But alas it did not. Since I was still feeling this way when my alarm went off I decided to listen to my body and I called in sick. I didn't want my body to decide to discard whatever it was at the wrong time. I ended up sleeping until about 2pm. Not really ready to face the world until 3. When I did get up my body was finally ready to get it out and I am happy to say it chose the nicer of two evils. Anyways that is probably way too much info for a blog. I still have a wicked headache but nothing some more sleep can't cure.

When I was laying down for a nap (yeah after sleeping until 2 I still needed a nap later in the afternoon) I had my hand on my tummy. That's when I felt the weirdest movement and it was timed with the kick I felt. At first I didn't believe it, thinking it was my imagination. But again it happened. It happened 4 or 5 times. So cool. The best way I can describe it is that it feels like a heartbeat, just off beat from my actual heart, and a little stronger. I was just so happy. I have been dreaming of the day that B can experience the kicks with me. Too bad he's at work late tonight. Hopefully Kiwi gives him a personal show tomorrow.

Well that's all there is to report for today. Hope your day is going great!

off to bed,

Michelle

Baby pictures

I have finally got some photo's of kiwi put together for your viewing pleasure. This first one was at our 6 week appointment to confirm that there was indeed a baby in there. It's so very tiny, it's the little white line within the black dot.

These next photo's were taken at our 12 week appointment. Wow has kiwi grown already.

I love kiwi's fist pump in the next photo.
Doesn't this next one look so comfy? Just lounging around enjoying the ride
These next photo's were taken at our 20 week appointment (the one we had last week). First picture is kiwi sucking his/her thumb.

This one is a full frontal on kiwi's face. A little creepy but I'm going to love those cheeks!!!
The foot responsible for jumping on my bladder.

Another fist pump from kiwi to you!
Kiwi loves his/her thumb, it's on it's way up for another suck!

Christmas has come and gone now

This past weekend has come and gone so quickly. Is it just me or has time suddenly sped up? I feel like every day is going by so much more quickly than it had before. Anyways, Saturday was a blissful day of sleep. I had gotten up early (for a Saturday - 8:30) and by noon I needed a nap. I think my body was still recovering from the fun-filled week I had. After waking from a 3 hour nap I got up and made some dinner. After dinner we watched a little tele and then I was back in bed by 10. The following day - Sunday - was our day of Christmas celebrations! We first went to church and then stopped at the grocery store (B headed over to Canadian Tire) and than came home and prepped for our Christmas. I made the lasagna first, that started a 30 second tidy and set the table. Followed by another 30 second tidy and wrapped the presents and got a few other things done. By the time I finished I sat down and 5 minutes later the first of our guests arrived. They ducked into one of the rooms to finish their present sorting and while they were stowed away I lied down on the couch and happened to close my eyes. B shocked me awake by saying, "you can't sleep now, the party hasn't even started". I jerked myself off the couch when our final guests arrived (the other two still hidden in the room). We first sat around and chatted and filled up on appetizers and pickles!( I had claimed them :) ) Than when dinner was ready we sat down and ate. We opened gifts afterwards with a great skype call with my sister and her family. So much fun. We joked about how if the world does end in December of this year we at least didn't get jipped out of a Christmas. I should really post some pictures from our event, but I didn't take any. My dad however has a multitude of them on his camera. (Even one of himself - it was a self portrait).

After the evening was over and everything was cleaned up and everyone had left I went and crawled into my bed. It was such a blissful feeling. My legs screamed with delight as I lied down. (Standing in heels on tile at church followed by standing on hardwood floors all evening isn't all that awesome for ones legs).

Monday morning I felt it. I had a rough start to the day in that I just didn't want to wake up. I was worried that I wouldn't have any energy to exert to the little kiddos that I was to work with. I really hate being the lame-O teacher that has no energy to give. However, once I got there and got into the groove I was fine. (As long as I didn't stop).

Once I got home from work I sat around, re-heated some left overs for dinner and then went to bed by 8pm. When it wasn't even 6 yet I thought it had to be at least 9pm. Therefore an early bed time was in the must haves.

I woke up every 2 hours last night and at 2:30am I was up for a solid hour just wishing myself back asleep. It was the weirdest feeling but I think the baby was doing somersaults in there. It was a very waving feeling. Neat, but just not at a convenient time. I only had one session today and once I got home I waited for the dishwasher repairman to come. Apparently back in 2008 a part on our dishwasher had been recalled due to a pattern of fires being set. (awesome!). We only discovered this recall notice because B was doing some research on how to clean it. Obviously the people who owned the house before us didn't care about their investment, but their lives? Yikes. I was a little horrified that we had been using it for the last year without a care not knowing the danger we were in. (Especially since I don't usually set it until we are about to go to bed or go out for a bit). Luckily though it is a cost-free fix and only took about 1/2 an hour for him to fix it all up :)

Resting easy tonight

Michelle

All caught up - now we're on real time!

Wow, so today marks the first in a long time up to the minute blog update. This has not been pre-written. It's raw and it's real! haha. Not that the other updates were fake it just felt a little dis-engaged for a bit because I had written them a month or so before posting so I had to read them again to remember what I had been feeling at the time. Now though, we're back to real time!

This past week has been crazy busy. On Sunday I went to my friends goodbye dinner. (She's moving to Vancouver today - but because the roads are so bad she may have to wait a couple days). So I went over to her house and we had a delicious seafood lasagna. I've never had that before. It was super yummy. Her 4 year old niece was there and what a doll. She was so funny. I was wearing a skirt and she asked me to come look in her closet at all her pretty dresses. Than we had a dance party with her mom's cell phone ring tones. It was hilarious! My friend Erin called me over and asked me how things were going (she had known that we had been trying for a long time) and asked if we were still trying. I told her that right now we're not trying because I'm 5 months pregnant. (I had been wearing a huge sweater so you couldn't see my tummy and when I said it I unzipped the sweater so my bump was visible). She screamed and ran over and gave me a hug. It was super sweet.

Monday: We had our 20 week ultra-sound appointment. I woke up early so I could drink the litre of water that is required at a leisurely pace (last time I drank it too quickly and ended up loosing the water I needed to have in my bladder 5 minutes before having to leave). When we got there I was doing the dance. You know the one....that helps keep your bladder from exploding all over the waiting room. I was taken into the room (B had to wait out in the waiting room until the technician had finished gathering all the photo's she needed). During one of the photos she was having a hard time getting the angle she needed because kiwi was not cooperating. She apologized for having to press on my bladder and then she told me that I was getting kicked in the bladder too by little kiwi. Luckily while lying down it wasn't so bad. I told her that it might be a different story as soon as I stand up. When B came in we were able to watch the screen and see our baby being so active and jumping around. Kiwi is so cute. Sucking thumbs and doing fist pumps. I have started to feel baby ninja moves a lot in the last little while and they are becoming a lot more regular now. They really start up when I am singing to the kids I work with.

After our appointment I had to go to work (as if I could concentrate). Than that evening we went to Kelly O's to celebrate our friend Tom's birthday. It was really fun.

Tuesday: We had our regular day of work and then as soon as work was done we headed over to Jeff and Sarah's house to celebrate her birthday. It was fun. We were introduced to some of their friends that we hadn't met before and we played this really fun charades game. It was a 3 round game. At first everyone writes down 6 famous names (fiction or non-fiction). Than you're split into teams. The first round you're allowed to talk and give many clues, just can't say the name that's on the paper. Once all the names have been done you count up your points and return the names back to the bowl. The second round you are able to use only one word to describe the person and actions. The third round you're only allowed to do actions. It's really a funny game.

Thursday: Regular day at work and then we came home, I did a quick 30 second tidy and got ready for my two girlfriends to come over. We had chai wa halib. (Chai with milk). And we also had some cookies and other little snackies. After having a great chat we brought out the DDR (dance dance revolution). I only have one mat, meaning it's a one player game, and we decided that one person would be on the mat having their turn and the other two of us would be the back up dancers and we had a blast. We danced the night away joking that we are an awesome dance group and that the neighbours (if they were watching) were getting a great show!

The next day though, did I feel it. I believe I may have over done it. But what a way to do it. I am still learning that my body is no longer my own. My lower back had been killing me all day at work where it came around to the front of my body. I felt like a lame-O teacher. But we still had fun but once I came home I hit the pillow so fast.

This weekend (tomorrow actually), my side of the family is celebrating Christmas. I am making a gluten free lasagna with caesar salad and garlic toast(not gluten free). Well, it's been a fun and tiring week but it's been a blast. I will try to post some pictures soon.

Until next time,

Michelle

Soccer Player?

January 14, 2012

Ok, I haven't written any new updates for a while...like a month because I've been dependant on all my last posts to fill in the gap and then I'm like, oh yeah I guess I'm going to need some current stuff on here too. As I only have 3 more pre-written posts left I thought I should get caught up on what has happened in the last month...well..more like 3 weeks.

Last week I felt my first real jab. I was bending over to pick something up and I guess I was squishing little kiwi and he/she jabbed me. It was a neat feeling. I have felt a lot of movement in the last few days. It's definitely in there. On Thursday morning at work we were singing the good morning song and the baby was dancing around in there, so active. I told my tummy later that we will not be singing that song once it comes out. I've been singing it 3 times a day, 5 days a week for almost 2 years. (Well, the other two times during the day we sing good afternoon, instead of morning, but it's the same song and I'm so over it!) So no, that is not a song to get excited over kiwi because I don't think after these next 5 months you'll ever hear it again.

Yesterday, Friday the 13th, I had a maternity appointment. I don't know why but in the last month I've been feeling very uneasy and worriesomeabout baby. Having terrible nightmares that something has gone wrong. So when she found the baby and it kicked the doppler I was relieved and full of laughter. That's my kid! Kicking the doppler. The doctor said, "It seems you may have a soccer player in there". She found baby's heartbeat and soon after the baby punched the doppler. She said, "it's very active!" I have my next ultrasound on Monday and she had told me that if they had a hard time getting the images they needed because baby's so active they may get me to come back in another month to try again (when baby's bigger and has less room to move around in). She also told me that my insides (uterus) is higher than where it would be at 19 weeks and that's it's already in a 21-22week stage. I don't really know what this means but I do know it means baby has a lot more room to be active in. I will be 20 weeks as of tomorrow. That's half way already! I told my friend I hope the second half goes slower than the first half and she said it only speeds up. YIKES! It's already going so fast. I asked my doctor if it's a concern that I haven't gained any weight yet. She said that it's fine right now, but if the baby doesn't seem to be growing than we have issues. But she said I'm doing very well, yay! I love words of affirmation!

Last night I had such a wackadoodle dream. I dreamt that I bought somelingerie and when I got to the till she told me that it was going to be $983. I was like, what? What did I buy? And she said, well if you sign this form saying you won't use any fast food coupons than your total will only be $40. I was like, yeah I'll sign it. Thinking there's no way you can follow up on that. As soon as we left the store my sister asked me if I wanted to go to McDonalds. I was like, yeah! And away we went...than I woke up. It was so weird!

Well, that's about all there is for now

Sweet dreams,

Michelle

First day back to work after Christmas Break

January 2, 2012

Today was my first day back to work. A day too soon in my opinion. However, it was really weird. My first little person didn't show up and I later found out that he had cancelled on Friday just that someone forgot to tell me. (grr...precious sleep in time denied). Than came lunch time and I had brought a can of vegetable soup. I'm trying to stay away from canned goods because of the BPA that's in them. (Not good for Baby) plus it was really an uninspiring lunch so I opted to go and grab a pita instead. Hello Lettuce/Tomatoes and Pineapple!! (there were many other veggies in there too but with those 3 ingredients my tummy is one happy place). I brought it back to work and ate half of it. It was huge! The other half I had as a salad for dinner since the pita itself had gotten really soggy. I can't stand soggy bread! It was equally as delicious.

My second session I worked with this one little girl who is new to me. She's a lot more high functioning than any of the other kids I've worked with. It really threw me off my game. I almost didn't know how to do my job with her. By the end I felt ok with how our day went. Today was a day of just getting to know each other and the expectations were pretty low since this was our first time interacting with each other. By the end of the day she had asked if we could play babies. I agreed as soon as we were done one game (my choice) than we could do her choice. She was quite deliberate with her play. Getting things ready for the baby. She said, the baby comes in two weeks. So we got some other things together and then I asked her, how long now until the baby comes? She said one week. So I got her to act out the story Billy Goats Gruff (one of the things we are to work on), than the baby would come. So as soon as the story was done she said she had to go to the hospital. I said, oh to pick up the baby? And she said, "No, the baby is still in my tummy". I was like oh you're going to go have the baby. And she said, "yep, I'll be back in 2 hours". I laughed. That would be awesome if it worked that way! haha. She was a lot of fun to work with and I think it's going to be a fun few months! (Our schedules change every 3 months or so with the slight adjustment monthly.)

Over all it was a great first day back to work but was I tired when it was over. Actually at about 2pm I had hit a wall of tiredness. After work I decided I would go grocery shopping to pick up some things for lunches. Forgetting that everyone and there dog would be there because they were on their last day of holidays and were now in a mad rush to get things for their kids' lunches. Dagnabit! Seriously the shelves and the produce section looked like it had been ransacked. Barely anything left. People were pushy and not friendly. I purposefully bopped up and down the aisles to the little tune I had in my head. Or I would dance and sing along to the song that was playing over the speakers in the store. I try and make grocery shopping pleasant for myself and if I can make one person smile I feel as though it's been a success. When I got to the milk I noticed that most people were taking the 2 litres rather than the 4ltr. I looked and saw that the front crates were empty, but behind them sat full crates with 4 litre milk jugs. So I pulled out the empty crate that was in front and put it on the bottom shelf and grabbed a jug and went on my merry way. (After I put a crate away that a lady had put on the floor in the middle of the aisle because that makes sense - I even said loudly, "Don't worry I'll put this away for you". I just found it funny that the aisles are full of people and she just left it in the middle for someone else to deal with. It's not hard to put it at the bottom - is this not common knowledge? Anyways, when I got to the check out a lady looked at my cart...then looked away, then she looked again eyeing up something in the bottom part. Than she asked, "Did you just get that milk jug?" I explained to her how I had just gotten it and it was because they were hiding behind the empty crates. I told her if she wanted to run back and get one I could hold her spot in line. She was very happy (got my smile!) and she went and grabbed her milk. I tell you, I will not go shopping on a holiday again, that was nuts! The line ups were all the way to the aisles at all the check outs. (They had about 9 open - not counting the self check outs - there's 6 of those).

I came home and told B about my adventures for the day. He was busy in the basement doing stuff and then I came up stairs and watched the first episode of this season's Bachelor. Oh it's going to be a good season full of crazies!

Well, until next time

Michelle

Crazy Dreams and Emotions

Dec 23, 2011

Weird dreams: Last night I had a nightmare/dream that I had a baby with 3 heads. It was very disturbing, so much so that when I woke up for my routine washroom break I chose not to go back to sleep. That was enough for one night. However now I have a wicked headache and I think it's because I didn't get enough sleep. But do you blame me? That was freaky! I think it was brought on by an article I read about a lady in brazil and how she had given birth to siamese twins where they share an entire body but each have their own head and own brain. I don't think it's wise to read these things 1. When you're pregnant and 2. Right before bed. I will share a link to the story so you can freak yourself out - oops - I mean - read it for yourself if you're curious. But I guess my brain decided to make the dream more dramatic and gave the baby 3 heads, cause 3 heads is better than 2? Crazy I tell you!

Here is the link: Just copy and paste

http://news.in.msn.com/international/article.aspx?cp-documentid=5699357

Also another thing I've noticed in the last few days is that I am extremely emotional first thing in the morning. I don't know why this is but the last 3 mornings I've found myself tearing up at the most ridiculous things. I laugh at myself on the inside because I know it's ridiculous but my outer self can't help it. It's so weird. This kid has taken over my body and now my emotions. Oh yoy I'm in for it I tell you.

I found out last night that my roommate from bible college is also expecting. How exciting. Even though she lives so far away it's neat that we are going through the same thing at the same time. So bizarre.

Well, that's all there is for now

Michelle

Week 16

December 22, 2011

I don't really have much to say. I just wanted to list some of the things I've been experiencing for future sake or whatever or maybe you're interested too. TMI alert: In the last couple of weeks I've been getting this sharp cramp in my left butt cheek. I thought this was odd but it would go away. Well in the last 3 days it's been there quite constantly so I looked it up. Apparently it's common in pregnancy because my sciatic nerve has been pinched which causes the pain to shoot from your lower back (I don't feel it there) down through your bottom and can go down your leg. So I searched for some answers on how to fix this. Apparently all I can do is stretch it out. So that is the plan. I found one site where it doesn't just give you one stretch to do but 3. So helpful! It's caused by the muscles around the nerve tightening up which results in pinching your nerve. So wonderful! The things they don't tell you about pregnancy. I guess it's cause not everyone experiences the same thing.

I have also started to feel the flutters inside. Which is neat, but every time I feel them I wait it out...was it just gas or was it actually the kiwi moving? Also my hunger pains have gotten intense! If I'm hungry it's not like, "oh I'm hungry I can wait until lunch time", no it's like the beast within is angry it had to even wait a milla second for something to eat. It's like it must be fed and it must be fed now! I'm use to pushing off my hunger until it's convenient for me, but that is no longer the case. I have an emergency granola bar in my purse just in case I find myself in a situation where I can't just get up and get something. It's so dramatic!

On Christmas day I will be 17 weeks. So crazy how fast time is going. I remember being at 8 weeks wishing that I could be at 16 weeks. But now that I'm half way done the 16th week I'm like, wow where did the last 2 months go?

Oh yeah, this past week my tummy has started to pop out. I seriously look like I ate 5 burgers all the time! (I've never in my life eaten 5 burgers in one sitting). But I'm just looking a little poochy. My dear sis-in-law said that it looks to round to be fat, she said you can tell I'm preggers :) So sweet. I know the truth though...this is the awkward stage of is she pregnant? or is she just a little chubby? I know my clothes are going to get incredibly smaller in the next month or so but I'm still wearing my regular clothes. I lost 12 pounds since the first trimester and so my regular clothes got a little roomier so I think I stretched out my time for wearing them. Yay!

Can't wait to start posting these posts. I'm always tempted to just click the publish button, but alas, B and I decided to wait until Christmas until we put anything on my blog. Last week I almost caved but he pulled me back and said, it's only one more week, just wait. He's so patient sometimes!

Until next time

Michelle

My taste buds are no longer mine

December 19, 2011

No more gummy bears for now. I really like gummy bears. I went to my new favourite cake decorating supply store (Bulk Barn) and loaded up on sprinkles for some cookies I want to make and while I was there the young girl was cleaning the lids to the bulk bins. Which means she was opening them and wiping down the lid. Well sensi-nose (that's what I call my nose when it's oober sensitive) picked up on the smell of the gummy bears and I was sold. (I was 2 aisles over that's how good my sniffer is right now). So I went and got a moderate amount (for real, it wasn't a crazy amount) and when I got home I was so excited to dig in. Well I did. I had 3. 3 gummy bears people and then I felt so gross. I didn't enjoy the taste. I was so mad at my taste buds, how dare they betray me this way! They're gummy bears!!! For this I blame the baby. There is no other explanation. So I am now taunted by a bag of gummy bears that my brain wants but my tongue rejects.

I find my sweet tooth is inconsistent. Sometimes I am loving sweets and at other moments I can't stand them. I am finding it's more like the little candies, baking and such that I don't like but chocolate is always acceptable. I don't know what that is all about. Ice cream is also an always do.

I am officially 16 weeks and my tummy has started to pop out. I really just look like I ate way too much for dinner - but all the time. I haven't gained any weight yet. Actually I've lost weight. My doctor was surprised when she did the weigh in and asked what my starting weight was. It was about 12 pounds heavier. Thank you morning sickness and exhaustion. She asked me what I was doing and I said, sleeping instead of snacking at night. Something I plan on doing after the baby is born (probably not the sleeping part - I'm not delusional) but the snacking late at night part.

We go for our next ultrasound on January 16 for our detailed scan. I am just excited to see the little kiwi again. I have felt a few little flutters here and there. 2 times for sure when it wasn't gas so I knew I was feeling baby. It's so neat. I'm excited for the moment when I feel it for certain and that B can feel it too. (I say that now but ask me if I feel the same way at 37 weeks when I'm just ready to have it out).

People have asked us if we are planning on finding out what it is. The answer is no. We had decided that if it were twins we would find out the genders but if it was a singleton we would wait and find out when it came out. (The medication I was on has a side effect of having multiples since it pushes out the eggs and since my body hoards my eggies there was a chance that this drug could push out more than one egg resulting in multiples). What we do know is that it's a baby and not a miniature wiener dog like my dreams tell me. So we will find out the gender when everyone else does. Well, we may have a few minutes to savour that moment of finding out before we tell others, you know...we'll see how it goes.

Earlier today (about 15 minutes ago actually) I was wrapping Christmas gifts and after I was done I was tidying up and I bent over to pick something up and suddenly acid reflex kicked in. I don't know if this is normal but I've heard that bending over gets harder and harder as time goes on. It feels like heartburn and it's not very comfortable. I'm just mentioning these things for myself really so I can look back and remember and also if I do get pregnant again it might be helpful to have something to refer to for "my normal". I don't know why I put that in captions but I did and I'm not going to change it. :)

Well, I think that's all there is to report for now. Until next time

Michelle

2nd trimester falsehoods

December 6, 2011

Where is this energy boost I'm supposedly due for? I still find myself beyond exhausted by 7pm. It's pathetic really. I use to be such a night owl. Now I'm lucky if I see a 9 on my clock before I close my eyes. Also I thought morning (in my case all day) sickness was suppose to go away. I'm 14 weeks and I lost my cookies (all of them) today. It was not pretty. I am just waiting - not so patiently anymore - for the second trimester bliss to begin.

The other day at work I had a new kid start. Let's just say that if there is an open door he will bolt through it and keep running. Halfway through my session one of the speech people said, "Michelle's really glowing" one of my other witty co-workers said, "I think that's just sweat". haha. I would have to agree with her. By the end of my session I was so tired from running and I mean running for the 3 hours.

When B came to pick me up I told him I was ready to call it a day and go straight to bed. He thought I was being funny. I was serious! I was so done.

At this point I think the 2nd trimester rumour is just that, a rumour. I have found no truth in it as of yet. Oh well. Here's to another 6 months until our little bambino is here. I am so excited. I don't mean to come across as whiney because there is not one second I would trade to not be in this position. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity and I will take whatever will come my way. Every time I hear the heartbeat, or we go for an ultra-sound I always proclaim, "It's really in there?!" We have just wanted this for so long that it is surreal that our dream is going to come true.

Well, until next time

Michelle

Funny Commercials

As I watch TLC they have one commercial that comes into circulation and every time I laugh. It says, "As soon as you find out you're pregnant you think, there are so many stretch mark creams to choose from". Yes because that's exactly what I thought when I first found out. haha. So freakin' hilarious! I just find it so funny. Who writes this stuff? Did they actually sit in a room and brainstorm an idea and then come up with that and think it was a good idea? haha. Sometimes commercials are comical. And don't ask me which cream they were advertising because I never pay attention to that part because I'm too busy laughing.

Beginning of weird combinations

November 23, 2011

Tonight B and I went out for dinner since he was going to be going to his live launch (which usually goes to the early hours of the morning). So he made some time for some wife time before he had to go back. He asked me where I would like to go. Anywhere was the option. I picked ABC Restaurant. He was like, seriously? There again? He thinks I'm an 80 year old trapped in a 30 year old body. What can I say I love the Thai Chicken salad. It's so incredibly yummy! When we got there, however, my hormones took over for the first time regarding food and weirdness. I ordered the Thai Chicken salad, with a side of mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce. The server looked at me like I was a nut bar but made my desire come true. When she brought it out I mixed the cranberry sauce into the mashed potatoes and had my first weird pregnancy combination. It was delicious!!!! My salad was equally as good. After dinner was over we went across the parking lot and got some starbucks (I still have my free gift cards for there for using "swagbucks"). It was a lovely evening.

Than I drove B back to work and headed home. As I got home my energy level quickly faded. It was after 7 after all. And now I'm very much ready for bed and it's 8:30. So pathetic. I'm looking forward to the energy burst the second trimester is suppose to bring on.

Today I was looking back at our journey and I felt pain for my February self. However I felt hope for that self as well. At that point in time I was just going through a miscarriage (Feb 17, 2011). I was 5 weeks along. It wasn't until August 2011, that I ovulated for the first time since January with the help of Clomid and Metformin. Not only was I in a state of mind that was so lonely and confused and angry and sad for 7 months, but I wasn't even to be a part of the "game". It's one thing to not become pregnant month after month, another to not even have the chance because your body won't release the egg and just stores it. My body has a hoarding problem! But thank God he created smart scientists and lead them to help people in my situation. I am so thankful that some people have the calling to help those who are baron. I found hope in Hannah's story (1 Samuel 1). I prayed a lot, but still struggled with my earthly emotional self. I am so thankful that I am now 3 months along. I still find myself doubting that it's real. I went for an ultrasound yesterday and saw the baby moving around, jumping and rolling over. I love the pictures (there's one where it looks like baby is giving a fist pump!). At the same time I was shocked, "It's really in there?" Was one of the things that crossed my mind and possibly my mouth. It's so weird. I will not take advantage of this time. It's a miracle and I am so excited and scared and I can't believe God is entrusting us with this little soul to nurture and help grow into a man/woman in his image. I guess I'm a bit emotional and I am so taken back that it's real. We will be having a baby in 6 and a half months (give or take a few weeks ;) ). I am thankful that I already knew about my pregnancy when mid-October came (when February baby would have been due). That time of the year still hurt but I was able to get through it a lot better than I had imagined. This baby doesn't replace the one we lost. But he/she does give us a new outlook of hope.

I think I'm just rambling now.

Until next time,

Michelle

Nov 20 A Sunday Surprise (great now I want a sundae)

November 20, 2011

Today was a great day. We went to church this morning. We were running late mostly due to me dragging my sorry self around getting ready. I don't know why it is, every day of the week I'm up super early, even before my alarm sometimes. And then Saturday night comes and I have a terrible sleep and I finally sleep in. Why can't I have a bad night sleep on Fridays and sleep in on Saturdays so I can stop being late for church? Last night I was in bed by 7pm. We started watching a movie at 5:30 and by 6:30 I had fallen asleep. Woke up at 7, took my meds and went to bed. B was shocked that that was it for the day. He said, "It's only 7?" My new bed time! If I see 7:30 it's considered a good day. I try my hardest to stay up till 9:30 because then the wake up calls through the night are not as severe as when I go to bed so early. Last night I was up at 4:30 until 5:30. I listened to 3 Adventures in Odyssey in that time and finally fell back asleep. Anyways I'm sure you care deeply about my sleep pattern. All that to say I wish I could get better sleep on Saturdays so I can wake up at a decent time to get ready for church and get there on time.

Once we got to church we made our way to the coffee bar and got our typical hot chocolate for the service. We headed upstairs and yeah....went to church. After the service was over one of my good friends (who knows our story/journey) asked me if there was anything new going on? I told her yes. And she immediately said, "Don't leave me hanging in suspense, what's new?" And I told her "We're due in June" and she started to cry and was excited. Than she told me that she is due 3 weeks before me. I am so excited because I know their journey is similar to ours and it was a very exciting moment to hear each other's news!!! I am so thrilled for them! (I just clapped my hands - like you can see that - so I thought I would paint you a picture of just how excited I am for them). They too had been trying for more than a year and it's so wonderful to know that we are going to be having our babies around the same time.

One of the other girls from church came over to congratulate my friend on her news (news travels fast in our church) and friend A asked, have you told her yet? In which friend B looked at me like, told me what? And I told her that we are due in June. Friend B is also expecting in April. She too was excited for us. I didn't want to steal Friend A's spotlight though because she too was just announcing her joyous news.

We had originally said that we weren't going to tell the outside our immediate family (and work -due to safety reasons) world until Christmas. Than we realized that we are at the 3 months and we had said before that we would tell people at the 3 month stage. We also didn't want to overshadow Christmas with our news so we decided now is as good as time as any. So that is why we changed our plan.

After church we went for lunch with B's cousins and Aunt and Uncle and Grandma. I finally gave his Grandma her Mother's Day gift that I had forgotten to give her...over and over. Finally I remembered to take it with us and actually give it to her. I joked it's a Happy Mother's Day in November. She said, "That's one for the books". I love her sense of humour.

After lunch we returned the winter tires we had picked up (they were too big for our car) and then came home to hang out with some friends while watching the Lions football game. The Lions won by the way! They are going to the Grey Cup. We had a great time and Sarah and I chatted while the boys actually watched the game. Now the evening is quiet. B's watching a hockey game (I know I'm an amazing wife, allowing sports to fill the room for an entire afternoon and evening) and I am updating my blog for future reading. See where my priorities are? You should feel special!

Well until next time

Michelle

Nov 19, 2011

November 19, 2011

Today I was faced with emotions that surprised me. I had thought that maybe once I was pregnant myself these feelings wouldn't affect me as much. I knew I would never forget the struggle we endured trying to get pregnant and that once you're faced with infertility your outlook changes forever. However when I was faced with yet another careless "joke" on a social networking site my feelings stirred up again that I am all to familiar with.

The following was one of my friends' status updates.

IS EXPECTING! :) YESSSS!! 5 weeks!! I know, I know its crazy aint it? I can't believe it myself. I wasn't going to put it on here but wanted to make it official :) ..I mean who would have guessed that we're expecting!! Yup its official...We are expecting Christmas in about 5 weeks !!! Re-post if you have any sense of humor :)

I guess I don't have a sense of humor. I was taken back by my emotions. I didn't know things could still sting that part of my soul. Maybe I'm oversensitive? Maybe it's hormones? Maybe I just understand how painful such carelessness can be. It just takes me back to the whole "Breast Cancer Awareness game" that was played earlier this year. For someone struggling with infertility these "games" are only a reminder of the emptiness they feel. How one would long for the chance to get to post something like this. Wishing that this could be their real status but that may or may not ever happen. I guess I'm on my soapbox asking everyone to be more sensitive with the announcements that are real and my deepest wish is for these "games" to be more well thought through.

Like I said, I didn't realize these emotions were still built up inside me and I was shocked for them to rise up in me like they did.

I guess I'll stop talking before I come across as a total Debbie Downer.

Michelle.

Disbelief and Excitement all wrapped in one

November 14, 2011

Today we had our first maternity doctor appointment. I went to work and worked the first session and then B came and picked me up from work and we headed over to the westside to make our noon appointment. When we got there I had some paper work to fill out. Than we got to meet our doctor. She is super nice! Answered any questions we had and said that we would be able to send her emails with any other questions we may have down the road. B and I joked around for a bit of it and she was introduced to the true us right off the bat. She laughed along with us and joked around too. It was refreshing. I didn't know what to expect and now my heart is at ease because I know what to expect each time I go there. She lays out what your next appointment is going to look like so that the anxiety disappears. I am really looking forward to our monthly meetings.

After we were done the initial questions and answers and medical history and all that, she got me to sit up on the table and she searched for the heartbeat. It seemed to take forever to find it, which she says is a common issue. Finally she found it and the sound brought tears (happy tears) to my eyes. It was so cool! My baby is fine and healthy and has a healthy heartbeat at 178 beats per minute. I am beyond ecstatic and hope this next 6 months and 3 weeks go by fast. I am eager to see what baby looks like and if it's a boy or girl (no we will not find out until it's born). B said he wanted to make a crack at how it sounded like, "Houston, Houston....(enter static noise)....can you read me over (enter more static noise). I wish he had that would have been funny. Anyways, that's all there is to report for now. There really is a baby in there

Michelle

New Years - New Beginnings

My new years resolution I think I can fulfill. My goal is to gain weight in the first 6 months and than in the second half of the year lose that weight :) I think I can do it! (Especially the first 6 month part).

This Christmas and New Years season went by fast and was full of family time. Now as I get ready to go back to work tomorrow I wish I had one more day to recover from staying up so late last night. We were up until 1:30am. Which I know isn't Crazy for some but for me, being use to being in bed by 9:30/10:00 it was a super late night in which I have yet to recover from. I even had a New Years Day nap after getting home from New years day cookies at B's parents house.

Yesterday was a fun filled day. We started it out by sleeping in. Than we went to the Tim Hortons/Wendy's combination restaurant and found out shortly before we left the house that the rest of B's siblings were going to be going to Wendy's for lunch so we met up. I had the notion that it would be awesome to have a little of this and that. Which means I had a hot chocolate with hazelnut shot from Tim Hortons and a Chocolate frosty from Wendy's. Best combo ever! It was fun having lunch with almost everyone (one sister wasn't able to make it due to the flu :( ). After our fun filled lunch we came back to our place and watched the movie cars. When the movie was almost over one of B's cousins came to join us because she had never been to our place before. It was fun to just hang out. Once 4pm came we headed over to B's parents house for an early dinner. B's brother T and his wife M and their little sprite were going to be getting on a plane to head back to Halifax so we wanted one last hurrah before they departed. It was fun.

Once they had left for the airport we headed out because we had to make a couple of stops before we had company coming to our place. When we got home I quickly set up and did a last 30 second tidy. Our friends Jeff and Sarah and their little one were the first to arrive. Followed by Cam and Becky. And then B's cousin C. Becky had to leave at 9:30 cause she had an early wake up call for work. When we all looked at the clock to see what time it was we all moaned that we still had another 2 1/2 hours to go until midnight. It was kind of funny. So we broke out a game. Apples to Apples. It was an over all hit and it helped make the time go by super fast. Before we knew it we were packing up the game so we could set ourselves up for the New Years cheer. Briskly after midnight came and went everyone started to pack up and that was the end of the party. As quickly as it started it ended. (We must be getting old). My bro stayed to chat and after everything was cleaned up and I was in my pj's I declared that I needed to go to bed so he left at 1:30. It was a late night. I'm paying for it today. But it was a great celebration.

I have to say 2011 was probably one of the hardest emotional years I've had. I wasn't sad to see it go. I'm ready for a fresh start in 2012 and excited to see what this year has to bring. It's going to be a year of celebration and excitement and I'm pumped...tired, but pumped!

Happy New Years Everyone!

Give me salt and vinegar chips and no one gets hurt

November 10, 2011

As long as I have salt and vinegar chips in the house I'm a happy girl. As soon as I feel the least bit nauseas I have one or two (doesn't take much) and I feel so much better. It's like a little miracle secret. I usually have the salt and vinegar chip and chocolate milk craving during my period but I guess baby likes it too. I take my prenatal vitamin with chocolate milk because it's the only way to keep it down.

Today I had to leave work early because I was feeling so sick. I don't think it's pregnancy related today though. It's much different that morning (or in my case evening) sickness. I have my stomach in my throat and I have major tummy ache and (tmi) the runs. It's not been a fun day. I came home and went to sleep for a solid 4 hours and when I woke up I still felt just as yucky. It felt like I was going to lose my cookies or pass out anytime I stood up. Any time I moved I just felt miserable. So I think I may be fighting a bug or something. I hope it passes soon and that it doesn't affect baby too much.

I watched the Baby story yesterday and sobbed through the entire thing. (I think the hormones have kicked in). There was one episode where the girl was extremely whiney and I asked B if he thought I would be like that. He said yes. haha. I'm not opposed to drugs during labour. After my HSG test and the major pain that brought on as the dye came out (bringing out anything that was blocking my tubes) I decided right than and there that my plan for an all natural birth was a nice thought but not necessarily going to be the route we take. I came out of that experience a little more open minded in that I'm just going to take it step by step when that times comes. I'm not going to be down on myself if I decide to get an epidural nor am I going to be terribly upset if the time comes and they say it's safer to get a c-section. I am just going to go in with an open mind, an open heart and as long as baby and I are safe and healthy that's all that matters. Thank you HSG for opening my mind. (I remember during that experience I said, if this is anything like labour at least you get a baby at the end and I would want drugs!) So dramatic I know.

Well that's where I stand at this point. I am so looking forward to Monday November 14! That is when I have my first maternity appointment. I don't know what to expect but I'm pumped.

Until the next update.

Michelle

p.S. I'm so looking forward to being able to actually post these posts. It's hard to not just push "publish post" All in good time.