Well, the contest is over. And I won!! Congratulations to Me. I would just like to thank all my fans for making this possible. I would also like to thank his parents, um, oops, no I don’t. Well, maybe I never met them so it might not be their fault. What did I win? I found the biggest jerk, so I win the award. How did this happen you ask? (Do you like how I ask the question for you so you don’t actually have to say anything? I like it, and so now so do you. Awesome, let’s continue with the story shall we?). Well, it all started on Tuesday morning. I was opening at the restaurant that I work in and had already had 2 tables before 10:30am. That’s lots ok! Normally we don’t have anyone in until 11:30. So I served those two tables. Then about 11:00 in walked this really nice lady. I served her and when she was about half way done in walk the worlds, ok, Brandon’s biggest jerk. Let’s start a new paragraph in honor of this story.
He walked in and started looking around. I walked up to him and welcomed him and asked if I could help him. He said, I’m meeting 3 or 4 other people here at 11:45, what time is it. I said, it’s exactly 11:45 on my clock, but I only have this one table in right now. Would you like to sit down and wait for them? He looked around and said, can I sit in here or should I sit in there (pointing at the lounge). I said I could sit him in here and walked towards the booth that was maybe 5 feet from where we were standing. He pretty much yelled, I want them to be able to see me when they walk in. I was like hows right here. He said fine. Then he said, well there might be 5 of us. We won’t all fit here, we’ll have to sit somewhere larger. I just ignored him(honestly, he was talking in such a rude tone.) So I walked away and the whole time he was waiting he never sat down. He kept pacing and looking out the window. I was like, whatever. Then my lady at the table was all done so I took her plate and took it to the dishwasher. I was off the floor for not even 45 seconds. Then I came out and he was in the waitress station (just a note to yourself that really pushes my buttons. That’s MY area AWAY from the customers so it ticks me off when they come in there.) He yelled, We’re all here now. I was like, ok. I’ll be right there. Geez. So I grabbed the water jug and walked up to where he had moved his table too. Another pet peeve of mine evens though it’s not the biggest deal. Just sit where you first sat, don’t touch all the cutlery on all the tables and be nice. Apparently I am a demanding server. Whatever! Anyways, back to the story. So now they are sitting up by the window(away from the door, so they couldn’t see him when they came in) and I went up there with the water jug. When I got up there he yelled, That’s what I want. I was like, ok. That’s why I brought it up here. It’s not just for show. Then I asked if I could bring everyone a cup of coffee or tea or anything to drink other than water. The ladies were all so nice and a couple of them said yes to coffee. He said, Me Too. I asked him, you would like a cup of coffee too? He looked at me and said, I wasn’t talking to you. So I asked again, would you like a cup of coffee? He said, UH NO! I said ok. And went and got the ladies their coffee. When I came back I told them all the special and left to give them a minute to decide. Every time I went up there he just ignored me. I didn’t really care. Then I went up to get there order. I asked them all what they would like and the ladies told me. The one lady asked for a salad and a soup. I asked her if she wanted to soup to start and she said all together is just fine unless someone else has a starter. Then I got to him. When I asked him what he would like to try he was like, well do you have a special? I was starting to get really annoyed with him and my tone came off as sharp and crisp when I said in a I’ve already told you two seconds ago type tone, it’s the Denver for $7.95. He said well I don’t want that. Can I have a Greek salad with something on the side? I said, our Greek salad comes with a slice of garlic toast. And he said, that’s not what I meant (I’m suppose to be a mind reader I guess. I must have forgotten to read that part of my job description). He said, could I have a sandwich or something with a Greek salad as the choice. I said of course, it’s just a little extra money. He said I don’t care if you charge me more for it. I was like, ok then what would you like to go with your Greek salad? Well, I’ll have spaghetti but I don’t want meat sauce or meatballs. I asked, would you like that plain or with our tomato sauce? And he said, no I want meat sauce. I was like, ok?! So I brought out his salad and her soup to start. I took her bowl away and he was still working on his salad. That was fine. Then their meals were ready and I brought them out. His was out last because it was pasta. When I brought it he said, I’m not done my salad, you brought that out a little early didn’t you? I just walked away. I didn’t care. For one thing at lunch time most people only have half an hour to an hour for lunch so everything is pushed out fast. I had other tables that needed my attention and he was really getting under my skin. I’m forgetting a lot of things he said, but he was just rude. Anyways, back to the story. So I went to check on everyone, they were all fine. Woo hoo. Then I talked to the table right across from them. They were yummy eye candy.....aka...cute boys. They were really nice too. That was just a small detour from the story but we’ll continue on. So I was taking some of the ladies plates away and he only had one spoonful of sauce left in his pasta bowl and a couple of pieces of feta cheese in his salad bowl, he was leaned back and not touching his fork. These are all signs to your server that you’re done. So I asked him if I could take his plates for him. He said back to me, NO, I’m not done yet. I was like, oh, ok...take your time. Then I walked away. Poor Mags, the girl I was working with, didn’t know I had just been there and she saw the near empty plates and went and asked if she could take his plates for him. He got really upset apparently and told her, NO, I’m Not Done Yet. She was like, oh sorry. By this time I had come back and called him an ass and when she came back in she said, you weren’t kidding. But see, he never looked up at me so he probably didn’t look up at her either and thought it was me coming back and hounding him for his plates. Ha ha. So I told Mags, I’m going to make him sit there with his empty plates for 5 mins. She just laughed. But of course I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I went up and got his plates. Before I took them I asked him if I could take his plates and he said, um, do you think you could take these away now? ???Didn’t I just ask to take them away??? Whatever, would anyone like dessert or anything else?? No ok, I’ll be right back with your bill. His response, Yeah, could you bring our bill now? ???Ok, didn’t I just say I was going to get your bill for you??? Then I brought their bill and they sat there for another hour. I didn’t go back. They were billed. I was done with them. When they were leaving he was short 3 dollars from his bill so he had to come back and pay it. Then he left.
I went to my boss after he was gone and told him, that guy that just left is the biggest JERK(and that’s a nice word) I’ve ever served in all my years serving(11years). My boss’ response, I’m not surprised. I over heard some of their conversation and he thinks he’s God’s gift to all mankind. I told my boss that if I ever had to have lunch with him I think I would have to kill myself. Seriously it was that bad. Yes Dad, it was even worse than “The last one was to go” lady.
What’s the moral of the story? If you have a friend or someone who is arrogant and rude that embarasses you(because I could tell those ladies were embarassed) let them know that they are being an ass. Maybe nobody has ever told him that with an attitude adjustment he would get a lot better service and maybe some new friends. I told Mags that if he ever comes in again, I will NOT serve him. After it was all said and done I just laugh because everything he did just made him look like an idiot. So when people ask me if there are really customers like the lady in the movie “Waiting” I would have to respond, YES. This is one of those stories. :) Until next time. Peace Out.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
Car Show
These next pictures are for my brother to check out and tell me if it's ok to be interested in them. I'm really interested in the black VW Golf. It's a 91 or a 92. It's a 1.8 litre engine. 5 speed, shaved off door handles. It has crome wheel wells, ground effects, beautiful rims and it looks hot. I like it a lot. They are asking $7100 or best offer. The blue one just looks pretty so I thought I would take a picture or two or four of it too. So enjoy the show.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
What would you do with 28 and a half hours?
Hello my peeps. Have you ever stayed awake for a really long time against your own will? I did just two days ago. You see on Saturday I went to work and after work I came home and started playing my game, Roller coaster Tycoon. I decided I would go to bed around 2am. That’s when I normally go to bed. I couldn’t sleep. So I got back up and tried reading and playing my game again, trying to get sleepy so that I could get to sleep. Still no luck. By the time 5:30 came along I said forget it I’ll just stay awake until church is over. Well church was so freakin’ awesome on Sunday. After church a few of us went to McDonald’s for lunch. I hardly touched my lunch because I was so tired I wasn’t hungry. Plus I had gone for breakfast at 6am with myself because when you’re awake at that time, you don’t care if you’re seen in public by yourself. Anyways, after lunch we all chatted until 3:30 in the afternoon. I went home and I got my kitty a collar and leash(story about that is in Crazy Cat moment). Then I came home and tried to stay awake for 7pm. Why? Because it was the young adult wind up and we were having a bonfire. Well, at 6pm I was playing my game and my head rested on the arm rest and off I went. I woke up and paused my game and went and lied down on the couch. When I woke up I was in my bed. I don’t know how that happens. However, when I woke up it was 11pm. I jumped up and yelled out, I’m going to be late for work. I worked at noon. Well, I grabbed my stuff and headed out my bedroom door towards the washroom and noticed that the windows were telling me something. It’s night time Michelle, go back to bed. You don’t have to work for another 13 hours. I took a deep breath and headed towards the computer. I played my game, checked out people’s blogs and had a great time until 4am. Finally I felt tired again and headed to bed. I woke up and went to work.
Ok, before I say this first I must tell you what inspired me to do something. I was watching one of my favorite shows, The Biggest Loser. The one girl that was on there was 5lbs heavier than I am. My mouth dropped. She’s on this show?? So after work today I went to the gym. I’m declaring it here so that I can have your support to work out a minimum of 3 times a week. I want to lose 20lbs before August 1. That means I must work my butt off(literally). So after I ran and lifted weights for an hour I headed towards the downstairs change rooms. On my way there I got distracted. There was a guy climbing up the wall. So I stopped and asked him if I could watch. He was like sure. You can even do it if you want. I was like, I’ve never tried wall climbing before. So after watching him do a couple of walls I decided I would give it a try. Let me tell you, I was instantly hooked. There was a line about 7 feet up and I told him that it was my goal to reach that line. He looked at me and said, it’s 7feet. I think you can go all the way to the roof. I said, I want to set my goal low so if I don’t reach it I have something to strive for. Well, I could hear him talking to someone and when he looked up he was like, Holy crap you’re at the top already. haha. I went past the red line. I went all the way to the roof. 20 feet. Still not that high, but for my first time ever I was happy. He said ok now to get down you just have to lean back and let go of the wall. I was like ok. So I leaned back. He said, ok we’ll try again. This time lean back like you’re in a chair and let go of the wall. I was like, ok. I leaned back and sat like I was in a chair. He said, ok, now let go of the wall. Do you know how scary that is? So finally I leaned back and started pushing myself off the wall. He said, don’t do that. Just walk down the wall slowly. (Takes the fun right out of it.) He said, you’re not James Bond so you don’t need to do that. When I got to the ground I told him, I’m not James Bond, but I am from the Matrix. haha. He said to me, now which one would you like to do? I told him I was done for the day. He was like, what? I said, you know I just finished working out in the other room. My arms are tired but I’ll be back to do the wall again. So I think I’ll go on Saturday. I’m hooked. It was sooo much fun.
*Crazy Cat Lady Moment* Number One.
This moment happened a couple of weeks ago but I thought it was a funny story and decided to share it with you. It was a hot day so I took the roof off my car. Later that evening I decided I wasn’t going to use my car any more so I should put the roof back on. When I opened the door I was welcomed with two very large eyes, just staring at me. There was a cat in my car, and it wasn’t my cat. I got freaked and jumped behind the door. It just stayed there. Staring at me. I said in a loud firm voice, get out. It still didn’t move. So I snapped my fingers and said, get out. It still didn’t move. I don’t know why I was so scared, seriously I have a cat. But this cat was big. Fat. And in an unusual closed environment with the scent of another, my, cat. So I was scared. I didn’t know how to respond. And so I said out loud, ok, it’s probably just as scared of you as you are of it so I said in a loud voice Get Out Now, Please. I guess it doesn’t know manners and it still didn’t budge. So I scurried behind the car and tapped on the glass right behind where it was sitting. It was gone within seconds. Whew. I put the roof back on in a fast pace and ran back inside. *Crazy Cat Lady Moment* is over.
*Crazy Cat Lady Moment* Number 2.
Yesterday my intention was to take my cat with me to the bon fire that I never got to. So I went out and bought her a collar and a leash. It is really cute with a bell on it. Well, if you know my cat you know she freaks out when anything is on her head. So when I put this collar on at first she couldn’t understand that the bell noise was coming from her. So she would run and try to grab it at the same time. Her arms were up in the air as though she was reaching for something. Than she would grab nothing and tackle it. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m going to try to take a picture of it. If there is a picture of it on here that means I got it, but if there isn’t a picture of it then you know I failed this mission. Ok, remember that these pictures were all taken within a minute. She goes nuts with her collar on...it's so funny. She's so dramatic, especially when she lays down in defeat. *Crazy Cat Lady Moment* Number 2 is now over.
Well, that’s about all I have to report for this time. Until next time. Peace Out!
Ok, before I say this first I must tell you what inspired me to do something. I was watching one of my favorite shows, The Biggest Loser. The one girl that was on there was 5lbs heavier than I am. My mouth dropped. She’s on this show?? So after work today I went to the gym. I’m declaring it here so that I can have your support to work out a minimum of 3 times a week. I want to lose 20lbs before August 1. That means I must work my butt off(literally). So after I ran and lifted weights for an hour I headed towards the downstairs change rooms. On my way there I got distracted. There was a guy climbing up the wall. So I stopped and asked him if I could watch. He was like sure. You can even do it if you want. I was like, I’ve never tried wall climbing before. So after watching him do a couple of walls I decided I would give it a try. Let me tell you, I was instantly hooked. There was a line about 7 feet up and I told him that it was my goal to reach that line. He looked at me and said, it’s 7feet. I think you can go all the way to the roof. I said, I want to set my goal low so if I don’t reach it I have something to strive for. Well, I could hear him talking to someone and when he looked up he was like, Holy crap you’re at the top already. haha. I went past the red line. I went all the way to the roof. 20 feet. Still not that high, but for my first time ever I was happy. He said ok now to get down you just have to lean back and let go of the wall. I was like ok. So I leaned back. He said, ok we’ll try again. This time lean back like you’re in a chair and let go of the wall. I was like, ok. I leaned back and sat like I was in a chair. He said, ok, now let go of the wall. Do you know how scary that is? So finally I leaned back and started pushing myself off the wall. He said, don’t do that. Just walk down the wall slowly. (Takes the fun right out of it.) He said, you’re not James Bond so you don’t need to do that. When I got to the ground I told him, I’m not James Bond, but I am from the Matrix. haha. He said to me, now which one would you like to do? I told him I was done for the day. He was like, what? I said, you know I just finished working out in the other room. My arms are tired but I’ll be back to do the wall again. So I think I’ll go on Saturday. I’m hooked. It was sooo much fun.
*Crazy Cat Lady Moment* Number One.
This moment happened a couple of weeks ago but I thought it was a funny story and decided to share it with you. It was a hot day so I took the roof off my car. Later that evening I decided I wasn’t going to use my car any more so I should put the roof back on. When I opened the door I was welcomed with two very large eyes, just staring at me. There was a cat in my car, and it wasn’t my cat. I got freaked and jumped behind the door. It just stayed there. Staring at me. I said in a loud firm voice, get out. It still didn’t move. So I snapped my fingers and said, get out. It still didn’t move. I don’t know why I was so scared, seriously I have a cat. But this cat was big. Fat. And in an unusual closed environment with the scent of another, my, cat. So I was scared. I didn’t know how to respond. And so I said out loud, ok, it’s probably just as scared of you as you are of it so I said in a loud voice Get Out Now, Please. I guess it doesn’t know manners and it still didn’t budge. So I scurried behind the car and tapped on the glass right behind where it was sitting. It was gone within seconds. Whew. I put the roof back on in a fast pace and ran back inside. *Crazy Cat Lady Moment* is over.
*Crazy Cat Lady Moment* Number 2.
Yesterday my intention was to take my cat with me to the bon fire that I never got to. So I went out and bought her a collar and a leash. It is really cute with a bell on it. Well, if you know my cat you know she freaks out when anything is on her head. So when I put this collar on at first she couldn’t understand that the bell noise was coming from her. So she would run and try to grab it at the same time. Her arms were up in the air as though she was reaching for something. Than she would grab nothing and tackle it. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m going to try to take a picture of it. If there is a picture of it on here that means I got it, but if there isn’t a picture of it then you know I failed this mission. Ok, remember that these pictures were all taken within a minute. She goes nuts with her collar on...it's so funny. She's so dramatic, especially when she lays down in defeat. *Crazy Cat Lady Moment* Number 2 is now over.
Well, that’s about all I have to report for this time. Until next time. Peace Out!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Oops I did it again
Hello party people. I was reading Dawn’s blog and I decided to use her excuse of why I don’t blog more often. Except the real reason I don’t blog as often is because I’m an addict. I’m addicted to a game. It’s called RollerCoaster Tycoon. I know it’s an older game but I love it. My favorite part is to build a burger stand right beside a ride entrance. It’s my intention for them to eat a burger before they go on the ride and then when they come off the ride they puke. I don’t know why I get suck a cheap thrill from it. I always name one of the green faced kids, Marcus the Pukus and I put a tracer on him for the remainder of his time in the park. Am I sick or what? Anyways, after that last blog entry it struck up some memories of other dating disasters I’ve had.
When I first moved here I was working at Humpty’s. This guy came up to the till to pay for his bill and asked me if I would like to join them to a movie tomorrow. I was like, yes. So the next day just before he got there I was just finishing getting ready in the washroom. My roommate was talking to me through the door. She kept saying I think it’s a date. My response would always be, no it’s not. Michelle, I think it’s a date. Um, nope he said we. I came out of the washroom and she said, you’re wearing that? I said yes, I’m comfortable and it’s not a date, it is just a bunch of us going to a movie(I was in overalls). Well, when he came to the door he was dressed in a suit and holding a bouquet of flowers. I was like, oh...Thank you. We had a great time. We watched the movie Pearl Harbor and went for a long walk and got icecream. When I got home I felt really dumb for wearing overalls.
Another time, really close to this past date I just told you about, some people who came into Humpty’s everyday had become friends of mine. They asked me if I would go on a blind date with someone they knew. I was like, um....nope. Then they told me that he worked with them (at McDonald’s) and that I had come through drive thru and he noticed me and wanted to meet me. I told them I was flattered but still no. After a month of them hounding me(these people are persistent) I finally caved and said fine. So here is how the blind date from.....(this is a G rated blog) goes.
He picked me up(good start). As soon as I saw him though, I knew he wasn’t my type, but I was determined to give it a shot. Then we got into his really old, beat up, falling apart truck. (Still ok). We were going to the theater to see the movie Angel Eyes with Jennifer Lopez(awesome, I wanted to see that movie). When we got to the theater I went to get out of the truck but the door was stuck. I looked up to see if he could help me but he was already out of the truck and walking towards the theater WITHOUT me. (Very bad move). So I pushed as hard as I could and finally got the door open. I RAN to catch up with him. Do you know that show, Blind Date???? Well, that’s all that I could think about. I had all these really funny bubbles coming out of my head and I would laugh to myself. Once we were in the theater I offered to pay for my own but he insisted(good move...I’m starting to forget all about the leaving me in your broken down truck and having to RUN on my date to catch up). I get a drink and we have 25 minutes until the seating for our movie starts. I think wow, we can actually talk a little bit before the movie, this is a good thing. To my dismay, however, he picks up a movie magazine and sits down at a table and reads it from cover to cover. HELLO???? Aren’t we on a date? (Bad move). So what do I do? I check out the other guys in the theater. What other people on dates and wish I had someone to talk to. Finally the guy announces that they will now let the people going to our movie sit. So he puts the magazine down on the table and leaves it there for someone else to clean up for him(bad move) and we head into the movie. The movie was alright but that’s all. We just sat there and watched it. Once it was over we got back into his rickty old truck and went for a little drive. He wanted to talk. Hello, we are on a date. Ok. But the talk is going nowhere. It was almost like random words. I was paying more attention to the imaginary bubbles coming out of my head than to what he was saying. He asked me if I wanted to continue driving around and I said I just wanted to go home. So he took me home. When I went to get out of the truck I put my right foot on the ground, like you normally do before you put your other one down. Well, I hadn’t gotten my other leg out of the truck yet when he started to drive away.(Bad Move). You don’t try to sweep one off their feet that way. I bounced around trying to get my balance without falling completely over and when I finally did, I walked around the house to where my door was. (I lived in the back lane...it was dark, not a good neighbourhood, there is a back alley he could have drivin’ down.) When I walked in the door, my roommate asked me how it went. I started to laugh so hard that I cried. I told her we needed to go for coffee so I could tell her all about it. It doesn’t end there. The next day he sent me flowers with a card that said, I had a great time, I hope you did to, maybe we can do it again. Are you kidding me? Were you on the same date I was on??? When I saw the girls who set me up I swear my eyes turned red. I was like what the heck were you thinking?
Well, that’s it for now. Until next time. Peace Out.
When I first moved here I was working at Humpty’s. This guy came up to the till to pay for his bill and asked me if I would like to join them to a movie tomorrow. I was like, yes. So the next day just before he got there I was just finishing getting ready in the washroom. My roommate was talking to me through the door. She kept saying I think it’s a date. My response would always be, no it’s not. Michelle, I think it’s a date. Um, nope he said we. I came out of the washroom and she said, you’re wearing that? I said yes, I’m comfortable and it’s not a date, it is just a bunch of us going to a movie(I was in overalls). Well, when he came to the door he was dressed in a suit and holding a bouquet of flowers. I was like, oh...Thank you. We had a great time. We watched the movie Pearl Harbor and went for a long walk and got icecream. When I got home I felt really dumb for wearing overalls.
Another time, really close to this past date I just told you about, some people who came into Humpty’s everyday had become friends of mine. They asked me if I would go on a blind date with someone they knew. I was like, um....nope. Then they told me that he worked with them (at McDonald’s) and that I had come through drive thru and he noticed me and wanted to meet me. I told them I was flattered but still no. After a month of them hounding me(these people are persistent) I finally caved and said fine. So here is how the blind date from.....(this is a G rated blog) goes.
He picked me up(good start). As soon as I saw him though, I knew he wasn’t my type, but I was determined to give it a shot. Then we got into his really old, beat up, falling apart truck. (Still ok). We were going to the theater to see the movie Angel Eyes with Jennifer Lopez(awesome, I wanted to see that movie). When we got to the theater I went to get out of the truck but the door was stuck. I looked up to see if he could help me but he was already out of the truck and walking towards the theater WITHOUT me. (Very bad move). So I pushed as hard as I could and finally got the door open. I RAN to catch up with him. Do you know that show, Blind Date???? Well, that’s all that I could think about. I had all these really funny bubbles coming out of my head and I would laugh to myself. Once we were in the theater I offered to pay for my own but he insisted(good move...I’m starting to forget all about the leaving me in your broken down truck and having to RUN on my date to catch up). I get a drink and we have 25 minutes until the seating for our movie starts. I think wow, we can actually talk a little bit before the movie, this is a good thing. To my dismay, however, he picks up a movie magazine and sits down at a table and reads it from cover to cover. HELLO???? Aren’t we on a date? (Bad move). So what do I do? I check out the other guys in the theater. What other people on dates and wish I had someone to talk to. Finally the guy announces that they will now let the people going to our movie sit. So he puts the magazine down on the table and leaves it there for someone else to clean up for him(bad move) and we head into the movie. The movie was alright but that’s all. We just sat there and watched it. Once it was over we got back into his rickty old truck and went for a little drive. He wanted to talk. Hello, we are on a date. Ok. But the talk is going nowhere. It was almost like random words. I was paying more attention to the imaginary bubbles coming out of my head than to what he was saying. He asked me if I wanted to continue driving around and I said I just wanted to go home. So he took me home. When I went to get out of the truck I put my right foot on the ground, like you normally do before you put your other one down. Well, I hadn’t gotten my other leg out of the truck yet when he started to drive away.(Bad Move). You don’t try to sweep one off their feet that way. I bounced around trying to get my balance without falling completely over and when I finally did, I walked around the house to where my door was. (I lived in the back lane...it was dark, not a good neighbourhood, there is a back alley he could have drivin’ down.) When I walked in the door, my roommate asked me how it went. I started to laugh so hard that I cried. I told her we needed to go for coffee so I could tell her all about it. It doesn’t end there. The next day he sent me flowers with a card that said, I had a great time, I hope you did to, maybe we can do it again. Are you kidding me? Were you on the same date I was on??? When I saw the girls who set me up I swear my eyes turned red. I was like what the heck were you thinking?
Well, that’s it for now. Until next time. Peace Out.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Have you ever been on a date and didn't know it????
Hey everyone. Did you think something happened to me? Were you worried that I had forgotten you? How could I. You’re the best fans I’ve ever had. haha. The only fans I’ve ever had. Are you wondering about the titled? Well, don’t you worry I’m going to tell you all about it. But first of all you have to understand the rules of this entry. This is where I get to tell you how to react while reading. I will tell you where it is appropriate for you to laugh, to cry, to sigh and such. Are you ready? Then here we go.
I will start by telling you how I ended up on a date and didn’t know it. (shake your head from side to side slowly.) I was working and there is this one guy who always comes in for a side of fries and seasoning salt(lick your lips here and imagine it while rubbing your tummy...you’re hungry now aren’t you? If you need to go and get a snack do so now but hurry back. HURRY!!!!! GO, you haven’t gone to get a snack yet....GO NOW!! Remember you must do what I say during this entry, don’t make me go all capital letter again!). So in came this guy for his usual fries with seasoning salt and he told me that it was his last week working across the street so he won’t be coming in any more(sigh here or go awww). Then he asked me if I wanted to go and see a movie/hang out. I was like sure. (Ok, most of the guys in my church just like to hang out...not dating or anything so I thought this was the same thing). So we made plans to go and see the movie on Saturday, fine whatever. After I was done work on Saturday night he came and picked me up from work. (Say yuck, you haven’t showered work off Michelle....Gross...make your gross noises now!!) So I threw on a hoody and some jeans and off we went. I was excited to go and see the movie (Over the Hedge) (Start cheering here for the movie because it’s stinkin’ good.) Woo Hoo!!!! Yay Over the Hedge! Are you cheering? I can’t hear you....go louder....you can be louder than that. Come on, make the people in the other room curious to what you’re doing/reading. Cheer. Out Loud. I don’t care if you’re the only one there. Just let out a woot. Ok, so the movie was awesome. Still not in tune that I’m on a date.(Shake your head here, slowly for dramatic effect.) After the movie was over I usually like to stay to see if there is anything at the end of the credits, especially for a cartoon movie, but he wanted to get going so we left. When we got back into his truck it started to rain. Then lightening(make a scary face....like you’re frightened. Be more Scared. Fine, that will do, but I’m not impressed with the enthusiasm. I need more. The less is more saying does not apply here. More is more. Help me to feel that you’re scared by the lightening.) Anywho, then it started to rain really bad. We were just driving by the bar and saw some guys running across the street. They were kind of running weird I laughed at them. (Insert your laughter here....imagine the guys running funny across the street in front of you. They are crouched really low and they have their arms up above their heads. Are you getting the picture. Now laugh! It’s so funny). Suddenly there was a big crack noise. I thought the guys had thrown something at the truck because I was laughing at them.(Make an almost annoyed look or shocked look but quickly change it to understanding). Why? Because it wasn’t a rock or anything like that, it was hail. Hail the size of golf balls. There were even a couple the size of a baseball. (Make your eyes go wide with alarm!!) Because his truck is new he wanted to protect it. So he was like, I’m going to park it under a tree so that it doesn’t get damaged I was like, ok. Still not aware that I was on a date. While we sat there I was kind of freaked out. If you don’t know, I don’t really like storms that much, especially since we had a tornado go through Brandon two summers ago. Not so cool. And last year we had a flash flood. So I sat there in his truck with big eyes. (Make your big eyes). Then he said it. What did he say you ask? He said, this is kind of a crazy first date eh? Ok, you thought my eyes were wide before? They got even bigger. Huge. Make your eyes bug out of your head, swallow hard and then reply, yeah I guess so. Say it out loud. It will make you feel like you were there. Make shifty eyes too. Like you don’t know where to look. Because you don’t want to make eye contact because your eyes are buggin’ out of your head but you don’t want to be rude either. So where do you focus? Just watch the hail. Just watch it...bang bang bang. So what happened next he took me back to where my car was and I jumped out of the truck said, thank you, I had a good time and said, ok bye. (Insert your laughter here, because I know you’re dying to laugh at me.) Has this happened to anyone else before? I sure hope I’m not the only one. Sad to say this isn’t the first time this has happened to me. You’ll have to wait for my next entry to find out what happened the time before. I hope you had fun taking instructions from me on how you should react(nod your head, you had fun! Do it!) I hope I didn’t become too bossy and you enjoyed yourself. This was for my sister! Love ya Dawn, Holla Holla!! Ok, until next time, Peace Out.
I will start by telling you how I ended up on a date and didn’t know it. (shake your head from side to side slowly.) I was working and there is this one guy who always comes in for a side of fries and seasoning salt(lick your lips here and imagine it while rubbing your tummy...you’re hungry now aren’t you? If you need to go and get a snack do so now but hurry back. HURRY!!!!! GO, you haven’t gone to get a snack yet....GO NOW!! Remember you must do what I say during this entry, don’t make me go all capital letter again!). So in came this guy for his usual fries with seasoning salt and he told me that it was his last week working across the street so he won’t be coming in any more(sigh here or go awww). Then he asked me if I wanted to go and see a movie/hang out. I was like sure. (Ok, most of the guys in my church just like to hang out...not dating or anything so I thought this was the same thing). So we made plans to go and see the movie on Saturday, fine whatever. After I was done work on Saturday night he came and picked me up from work. (Say yuck, you haven’t showered work off Michelle....Gross...make your gross noises now!!) So I threw on a hoody and some jeans and off we went. I was excited to go and see the movie (Over the Hedge) (Start cheering here for the movie because it’s stinkin’ good.) Woo Hoo!!!! Yay Over the Hedge! Are you cheering? I can’t hear you....go louder....you can be louder than that. Come on, make the people in the other room curious to what you’re doing/reading. Cheer. Out Loud. I don’t care if you’re the only one there. Just let out a woot. Ok, so the movie was awesome. Still not in tune that I’m on a date.(Shake your head here, slowly for dramatic effect.) After the movie was over I usually like to stay to see if there is anything at the end of the credits, especially for a cartoon movie, but he wanted to get going so we left. When we got back into his truck it started to rain. Then lightening(make a scary face....like you’re frightened. Be more Scared. Fine, that will do, but I’m not impressed with the enthusiasm. I need more. The less is more saying does not apply here. More is more. Help me to feel that you’re scared by the lightening.) Anywho, then it started to rain really bad. We were just driving by the bar and saw some guys running across the street. They were kind of running weird I laughed at them. (Insert your laughter here....imagine the guys running funny across the street in front of you. They are crouched really low and they have their arms up above their heads. Are you getting the picture. Now laugh! It’s so funny). Suddenly there was a big crack noise. I thought the guys had thrown something at the truck because I was laughing at them.(Make an almost annoyed look or shocked look but quickly change it to understanding). Why? Because it wasn’t a rock or anything like that, it was hail. Hail the size of golf balls. There were even a couple the size of a baseball. (Make your eyes go wide with alarm!!) Because his truck is new he wanted to protect it. So he was like, I’m going to park it under a tree so that it doesn’t get damaged I was like, ok. Still not aware that I was on a date. While we sat there I was kind of freaked out. If you don’t know, I don’t really like storms that much, especially since we had a tornado go through Brandon two summers ago. Not so cool. And last year we had a flash flood. So I sat there in his truck with big eyes. (Make your big eyes). Then he said it. What did he say you ask? He said, this is kind of a crazy first date eh? Ok, you thought my eyes were wide before? They got even bigger. Huge. Make your eyes bug out of your head, swallow hard and then reply, yeah I guess so. Say it out loud. It will make you feel like you were there. Make shifty eyes too. Like you don’t know where to look. Because you don’t want to make eye contact because your eyes are buggin’ out of your head but you don’t want to be rude either. So where do you focus? Just watch the hail. Just watch it...bang bang bang. So what happened next he took me back to where my car was and I jumped out of the truck said, thank you, I had a good time and said, ok bye. (Insert your laughter here, because I know you’re dying to laugh at me.) Has this happened to anyone else before? I sure hope I’m not the only one. Sad to say this isn’t the first time this has happened to me. You’ll have to wait for my next entry to find out what happened the time before. I hope you had fun taking instructions from me on how you should react(nod your head, you had fun! Do it!) I hope I didn’t become too bossy and you enjoyed yourself. This was for my sister! Love ya Dawn, Holla Holla!! Ok, until next time, Peace Out.
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