Why no facebook??

October 26, 2011 (I decided I would start dating these pre-created blog posts so that there's some context to when these subjects were relevant because by the time I post them they may be out of date by quite some time).

I've decided not to tell anyone outside of our immediate family until Christmas. (This didn't happen we ended up telling a lot of people at the 3 month mark) This is for a couple of reasons. I want to make sure I'm well on my way into the second trimester and Christmas is a joyous holiday (for the most part) and it just seems like a nice time to announce it to the world. That said you may have noticed that my facebook wall has been deactivated. This is to avoid any comments being made on it regarding our pregnancy. That's because in no way do I want it to get on facebook. Having struggled with infertility I know what it's like to read someone's careless announcement. I understand that it's in the excitement but if you've never been down the road of infertility you don't know how much it stabs when someone announces their joyous news. You don't mean to be negative about it. I know for myself I was always genuinely happy for them, but couldn't help feel the sting in my heart at the same time. For this I want to avoid posting anything about pregnancy until I'm ready to announce it on that level. However, that said, my blog readers are a much more remote group of people and I am happy to share it on here. Plus a blog you have the choice to read it or not, where as on facebook it just seems so much more in your face. However, as you can tell from the date I was still reluctant to share the news so broadly. I hope that makes sense. All in all I just want to be super sensitive to my friends who are still struggling and ask for your silence as well (as far as facebook goes).

X factor and pregnancy don't mix. It's an already emotional experience to watch, but add in some extra hormones and you have a freak of nature on your hands. I just sob every time someone is eliminated. Doesn't make much sense since that's the nature of the show, but I can't help but think that their dreams have just been smashed to smithereens. The logic side of my brain says, it's just one audition in their just beginning careers and that they made it this far because they have a talent to begin with. Anyways, I just noticed that I'm defending people I don't even know and that it's a tv show and nothing more. For whatever reason I'm attached to it today.

So I guess it's safe to say the hormones have taken root and that I am on the emotional side of things these days (not far from any normal day just a little more hightened). I've also seen my side of moodiness last Friday. I came home from work in a very sour mood and I knew it was time to lock myself inside away from the public when I started to get upset about slow drivers. Also my tata's are super sore. I cringe any time I have a child slam their head back against my chest (they may be sitting in front of me and throw their head backwards). This has happened a few times. It's very painful! Let's see any other things? Oh yeah, I thought I was suppose to gain weight in pregnancy, instead since I found out I've lost 6 pounds. (I'm in no way upset about this and little bean is growing just fine). I think it's due to me going to bed so early that I'm not snacking in the evening. I'm super super tired. If I see 8pm on the clock it's a victory. I can tell you as soon as the clock turns 7:30pm. That's when my body starts to shut down for the night. So sad and pathetic I know but I know it will soon pass.

As of yesterday I am 8 weeks along. So weird to think that my baby is growing inside of me and I can't feel a thing. (Other than some external things that have been mentioned already). I am so looking forward to feeling the baby kick and punch and move within me. Only 12 short weeks (3months) and that will dream will be realized. How exciting! Ok, I'm sure that's enough gushing for today. Until next time

MiChElLe