Is it next week yet?

What a weekend. I call it my very own personal roller coaster. Except I like roller coasters and this was not a fun weekend so I really should give it a different visual. Anyways. Again I don't know how much I want to divulge. It's an internal battle. My emotions get all crazy and then my rational takes over and I come to terms with what is going on and then I get sucked back in by my emotions. It's a crazy non-fun cycle. Seriously though I can see things getting better it's just going to take some time. Some processing and some real understanding.

This is our journey and this chapter is over. I think in this chapter of our book there was a lot of character growth, plot and setting. It's a big chapter. Hopefully when looking back it won't be the longest.

Wow, this post doesn't make any sense. Sorry. Welcome to my head today.

Happy Monday.

Really looking forward to spring.

Time

Wow. I don't even know where to start or to start at all. I am just going to say that I may not update for a little while because I need time. I am just going to leave it like that for now. Sorry for the vagueness. I just don't know how much I want to share if at all. Lets just say I'm on an emotional rollercoaster and I would really like to get off. I thank all my friends and family at this time for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers and I will get back to blogging in, hopefully, a few short days. Until than, I wish you all the happiness in your up coming week. Enjoy the sunshine because isn't it so nice. Spring is in the air.

• Happy thought: Looking forward to spring so I can start gardening in my very own garden =)

Wah Wah Waaaaah (Debbie Downer music)

Yay it's Friday! I am happy for the weekend. My plan is to sleep. That is all. Just sleep. Huge ambition right?

Today I am going to work late. My first session was cancelled due to illness of my client. So I thought, awesome I can sleep in. Nope, my body was up and ready to go when it normally is. Talk about annoying. And Aunt flo showed up..well sort of..but it showed up the way it shows up for me and that is annoying too. I guess I'm just over all annoyed today.

On a positive note...(wow it's taking me a while to come up with one). I want to end on a happy note because I don't want to be a debbie downer...but maybe I'll come back later and update with something more happy. Sorry.

Michelle

S.A.D. (Single Awareness Day)

Hello. Last week I didn't update at all. Sorry about that. I have an excuse though. I had the flu and took a long time to recover from it. Even by Friday I was still feeling woozy. But now I am feeling much better, however my time of the month is on it's way and that comes with some minimal pain. I just hope it comes soon so it can be over. Wow, that was a lot of personal info right off the bat. Welcome to my head! I'm such an open book sometimes.

Today is Valentines day. I want to be sensitive to my friends and family that are in a crossroads or are single so I don't want to shout it in their face that I'm blissfully in love. (Which I am). I would much rather be quiet because I remember being in that place and wishing oh so ever wishing for my turn to be in love. I hated the comments, "it will be your turn soon", "He's out there, he's just not ready for you yet". I still hate these types of comments. So cliche and they don't make you feel any better. I do however, understand that it's not maliciousness behind it. The people mean well, they have most likely been in that position before. I remember being 27 and hearing that and wondering maybe I'm just not meant for anyone. So do you know what I did? I went on a trip, I picked up some hobbies and I tried new things. I didn't take myself seriously and I enjoyed life. I tried not to obsess about it, even though some days this was just not possible. I love the thought of love.

Anyways, this is why I don't like shouting it in my facebook status. I feel somewhat put off by all the lovey dovey inconsiderate to their single friends status'. Does this make sense to anyone else? Man, maybe I'm just overly sensitive. I have the type of personality that I would rather put my own happiness on the back burner in order to not offend someone else. This drives B insane at times because during a discussion I will take my sweet time before I say something. Only because I'm ever so carefully deciding on wording in order to not be offensive. I think this is why people find me to be so quiet at first...I'm not I'll have you know...I was voted loudest girl on campus at college.....but I am diligent in my phrasing.

Wow, that post went in a totally different direction than I was expecting. All that to say, Happy Friendship Day. All my beautiful friends I love you all!

Aaarr Ye may enter at yer own risk

Good evening. An evening post, I know, what's up with that? It's a Friday evening to boot. Well, I'm procrastinating. We are having some people over tomorrow evening and I have a lot to do but instead I thought I would use my time wisely and update my blog. Mwahahaha! I am happy that it's the weekend. My voice started wavering yesterday and I went to bed with a nasty headache. You know it's bad when I wouldn't let B turn the music on in the car (I love my tunes)! Then this morning I woke up with that same headache, however it had died down a wee bit. I decided to pump myself full of drugs. I was determined to finish off the week! It wasn't until I went to tell B that it was time to get up that I realized my voice sounded as someone had grated it through a meat grinder. Well, dead frog or not, I was going to work and I'm so glad I did! I had such a great day! I was able to witness a break through and end with some buried treasure (we had a pirate them play group). Such a fun day!

Now I am prepping my brain to get into the baking mode, I figure do some baking tonight and then tomorrow do the cleaning so it's all pretty for some friends and family to come over. I am just trying to figure out what I want to bake for the get together....hmm...I guess I could make one of all my favourites and then freeze half of each thing (I love that we have a deep freezer now). This was one of my favourite things of getting our house, now we have room for one. I have wanted one since we got married because when I do baking I like to freeze some so I always have something on hand for when we have company, however, because we didn't have one I always had to do baking for each guest that we had...which I don't mind at all but it's a luxury of relaxation (I'm lazy) that I now have. Woot! (How dare you tell me that "woot" is spelled wrong spell check!) - (A little irrational burst of anger towards spell check).

I am excited to decorate some more cupcakes though!!! I love doing that. Just a way to get my brain to relax and my creative icing powers to get enhanced. I just had a cup of tea (remember my voice) and it's such a relaxing tea. If you are a tea drinker I recommend the "Creamy Nut Oolong" tea. So yummy. I've probably said that already once or twice...but that's just how much I enjoy it.

Wow, tiredness just hit me hard as I wrote that last sentence. I guess that's my cue to shut up and go bake...maybe I should run around the neighbourhood once to get the blood a flowin'.

Nah!

Until next time

Love Michelle

(did you catch that you got some Michelle love =) )

Tea anyone

So here I sit, post specialist appointment. I am feeling more optimistic of the future. I have to go for another test yet to find out a little more but that won't be until next month (hopefully). I had given up hope for a while there, living in a dark hole of emotions. And then I went through a stage of "I don't care" and now I'm back on a "Everyone has their own journey and this is mine" type of outlook. I've had this outlook for about two weeks now and I have to say it's a lot more fun than the dark hole mode. I understand that I am being very vague in my discussion right now and you may not know exactly what I'm talking about. There is a reason for my vagueness. B and I had talked about how much we would share on my blog since it's not a secure site. I want to share more depth in my journey and be an open book, for simply the reason of sharing so if anyone else is going through the same thing they will find they are not alone. In the ups and most of all the downs. It's really an emotional roller coaster and it's no fun at all. But trying to find yourself within it all is the biggest struggle of all. So once I've talked to B about it some more it will determine how much I share. I don't have a problem talking about it in person. No need to walk on eggshells about it. It's not taboo in my mind.

On a much lighter note...B bought me a new tea set this weekend. I wasn't expecting it and it's so darling! I absolutely love it. It makes me want to have a tea party. I've had about 10 cups of tea from it already and my bladder thanks me, I'm sure. It's so wonderful. But that wasn't all...we also got this great loose leaf tea called, "Creamy Nut Loolong" So amazing! It has such a calming affect and is just perfect for a snowy day curled up under a blanket, just like today. Here a is a picture of it.

Yesterday B and I went to his parents house for dinner. His brother, our sister and our cute little nephew were all there too! Such a great visit and so many cuddles. I love our nephews little smile...he's so sweet he has the most adorable dimples! B's mom made an amazing meal and I've gotta get the recipe for the ribs she made because they were so scrumptious!

It's Friday and all is well!

New post. I am sitting here with another quiet evening at home. B went to another hockey game. This time he took a friend with him. He asked me if I wanted to go, like always, but alas I said, if he could find someone else who wanted to go to take them, and if he couldn't find someone than I would go as a last resort. Fortunately his friend was more than happy to go. Whew. Then he asked me what I was planning on doing with my evening my response: Wedding shows on TLC!!! I love wedding shows, always have and always will! They are so fun to watch. I'm such a girl. I remember after we got married the first time I watched a wedding show B was confused as to why I was watching it. I told him I just love to watch them. But, you're already married, I thought you were just watching them for research, was his response. haha. I love him!

I wish people could visit my brain sometimes. And sometimes I assume people know what I'm thinking and wonder why they are looking at me like I'm an alien when I talk...well I thought you were in on that conversation I had inside my head. I wish this was possible sometimes because I sometimes can't find the words that I need to explain what I'm thinking and why. You know what I mean?! Shouldn't it just be understood without words?? That was my random thought....see if you could just be inside my head you would be entertained with these thoughts all day. Just take a moment and imagine what your day would look like?! Interesting isn't it?!

I went to another specialist appointment yesterday. I'm a little uneasy because I have an appointment on Monday to find out the results. It's one of those things where I'm going to find out some answers for some questions that may or may not change my life. But we'll see how it goes. Until then, this weekend shall be fun!

Well that's about all for now

Until next time

Michelle