The Server's Rant

I have to admit my inner Naomi came out of me yesterday. For those of you who don't know who Naomi is watch the movie "Waiting". Then it will all be clear to you. For the last couple of days I think the heat has gotten to some people. This apparently means they get to be extremely rude to their server! YAY for me! I am not a violent person but I am clumsy, so hitting them is out but "accidently" spilling their drinks all over their laps isn't right?! haha. Just kidding I would never do that on purpose. I did accidently do that to a lady last week though, luckly it was just water. But the bad part was I was in the middle of cleaning up her friends mess because just moments earlier her friend spilt her water all over her. So the poor girl was sitting within 2 glasses of spilt water. I felt really bad! (She was not a grumpy customer even after the spillage). Anyways, back to the story about the grumpy customers that I sometimes had an inner voice telling me to be clumsy towards.
So the other day I had this table of 4. 3 of them guys, one a chick. 2 of them Foreigners. For those of you who have seen the movie I know what line your thinking of right now...let's take a moment and laugh. haha. Ok! Enough laughing. The one guy that wasn't a foreigner was one of the rudest people. I had to think to myself, maybe he's had a really hard life so give him the benifit of the doubt. He would yell at me across the restaurant. "Miss can we order". I'll be right back sir. Like geez my hands were full of plates going to another table...it's not as if I'm just layed back in a chair taking in the rays. They had starters, which makes thier meals take a little longer and when I brought out their meals one of them, I'm not sure which one...but I'm pretty sure it was in English because I understood it, said "Finally!" As I'm leaving the table to bring out the next two plates the rude little man replied in an annoyed tone, "My phone is charging can you go get it for me, I need to see whose calls I've missed." Ok, one I didn't know you even had a phone. Second, I'm not your freakin' secretary, and third, can I finish bringing out everyone else's meals first? Geez! So I go and I find his phone for him and bring it to him. Later, after he had finished his meal but everyone else was still eating he got on his phone and started talking. Not a big deal right? Wrong! He was pacing around the restaurant and talking with vulgar language. The manager had to tell him to sit down and ask him to refrain from swearing. Can't get worse?...oh just wait! At the end of the meal I brought them their bill, standard procedure. Then they left with the money on the table. When I went to go and collect it to close out the table I realized something. Their money was stinky! And I mean making me feel woozy. It was soggy and wet and covered in freakin HP sauce. SICK!!!! I believe this is when my inner Naomi came out. The rest I could handle but this! It was so gross.
That was story number 1. Now for story number 2. This is kind of a rant session for me. Yesterday, Sunday, it was a beautiful morning. I was as chipper as the birds outside. Smiling like a fool. My tables were awesome until a big black cloud came over Kelsey's. The whole morning I had people who were just getting up and going to the buffet before I even had a chance to greet them and ask what they wanted to drink. I take less than a minute to greet them. It happened about 5 times yesterday, enough to frustrate any server. Anyways, this one table I had took the cake. Literally he had cake for dessert. haha. He was really rude though, but he only seemed to be rude when his friend was away from the table. The rest of the time he was quiet! WEIRD! I just realized that. Anyways, he like my other 4 tables, went and got the buffet before I was able to greet them. I asked them both what they would like to drink. The polite guy asked for coffee and then headed off to the loo. The second guy asked me what type of teas do I have. So I listed off all the kinds. Then he asked if I had blackcherry. I was like, no sorry, just the one's I listed off. Oh, well then do you have White something. I was like, no sorry just the ones I listed off. So in an angry voice he said, fine, I'll have Earl Grey and I want the bag in first before you pour the water(Ai Yi Captain Grumpy pants) I didn't know why he was using such a mean voice to say it..it was as if he was getting mad at me for screwing up and I hadn't even done anything yet. Well, with tea you serve it with milk automatically. But he insisted on tracking me down at another table and following me(I didn't realize he was behind me...I'm not use to having a shadow) until I noticed him. Then he said, I want milk instead of Cream with my tea. Ok, dude, just sit down I haven't even gotten to the back to get your tea yet. Geez. So I bring it out...everything is hunky dory. Later on he was away from the table but there was an empty plate. So I took it gently placing his cutlery on the edge of his napkin. Later on I went to go and get his friends plate while he was away from the table. The rude man said, yeah, this time don't put the cutlery on the napkin. I was like, ok. So I put them on the coaster that held two creamers and a little pack of sugar. I leaned them up against it so that the cutlery wasn't touching anything except for the edge of the plate. He yelled at me. He yelled "Don't put it on his stuff, GEEZ!!!!" I was like, what's the freakin' big deal dude, I want to smack ya! So I just walked away. Seriously though, what's with people lately thinking, I'm hot and uncomfortable so I'm going to take it out on someone. Well people, don't mess with people who work with your food. (I would never do anything to it personally but I'm pretty sure there are some out there that would).