Momma Guilt

So today Kiwi decided not to have a nap. This made him so over tired. He was a little rascal getting into everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. He was pulling DVD's out of the cupboard and not only that but opening the case and pulling the actual dvd out of the case. Ahh!  He was going into the hall closet and showed me all the things that I need to put onto a higher shelf (that will be tomorrow's job). He climbed into the dishwasher as I was unloading it and started to pull out the dirty dishes and lick them as I loaded it with tonights dinner dishes.  

 I tried getting him to stay up until his normal bedtime but by the time 6:30 came he was already starting to unravel.  He normally goes to bed around 8 or 8:30.  Tonight as I rocked him to sleep he was all over the place, talking about the animals on the wall, getting distracted by the light in the hallway, to talking about the excercise ball.  I figured out that he wanted me to bounce him on the ball.  (This is his favourite way to be rocked to sleep).  I have to honestly say my patience level had dwindled and I was tired and I was grumpy and I felt incredibly guilty because I was incredibly frustrated.  Then I started singing.  I sang whatever came to my mind, I sang how I wished he would just snuggle in and go to sleep.  And I kid you not, it wasn't even a minute and he was asleep.  I continued to sing and bounce and rock for another 10 minutes because I wanted to make sure he was good and down.  Whew, as I walked out of his room I looked at the clock, 7:15 on the dot. I was shocked.  I decided to come downstairs for some downtime.  About 20 minutes later, he's crying. So I drag myself back upstairs and rock and sing for another 10 minutes. He just needed a cuddle, who knows what woke him.  I come back downstairs, this time with a hot chocolate in hand. I settle in and start to watch "Modern Family" 15 minutes goes by and he starts to cry again.  This time I wait, it sounds like the "turning over" cry.  It was and he promptly soothes himself back to sleep. I sigh a sigh of relief.  Another 20 minutes goes by and he's suddenly crying like crazy.  I realize the answering machine is going off. Someone has phoned and I missed answering it and it woke him up.  Grr.  

I think it was just a long day and then B went out for the evening, which was totally ok because it was a special thing to go to and he was super pumped about it. I am just tired and I feel guilty for being frustrated and tired. I know it's motherhood and I love being a mom. Not for a moment would I change that. I had a day of frustration and I think that's normal?  

We had such a fun day, it was just the later afternoon into the evening that took a turn. Hopefully tomorrow we go back to our normal schedule.
Till next time
Michelle