Now What

Today was a good day. I woke up in a funk. Probably because I haven't been sleeping well since being back. I was up again last night at 3am. I am also extremely anxious about tomorrow. We find out if the house we've been pining over is ours or not. If it's not than I will be deeply sad because I really like this house. However, it's not the end all be all of all houses and life will go on. However, I am going to take my right and pout over it for a good week before moving on. This is my final answer.

I am also having a few health issues. I'm not going to get into it but this has also been troubling me and playing havoc with my mental well being. I just want everything to go back to normal. Hopefully things will be brought to light when I go to see a specialist in a the next few weeks. I am not going to say what it is or talk about it at all so please refrain from asking. Thank you in advance, I just needed to get that off my chest so I wasn't carrying it all alone again. Instead if you could just pray for a general health prayer that would be greatly appreciated.

I have noticed something within myself, it's no revelation by all means because I knew this about myself, just noticed it a lot more lately and want to maybe change it. I say maybe because it might become too hard the further in it goes. I've noticed that I don't open up. I don't talk about my feelings. I'm quick to listen to others pour out their hearts but in turn I am selfish with my troubles and thoughts. I don't care to share them, or think that I am strong enough on my own to deal with them. Or maybe I want to appear as though I'm happy all the time with no troubles, far from the truth. So maybe, just maybe I will start to pour out a little more....but like I said, this might not happen the deeper it gets right. Who wants to reveal their inner turmoil. Whatever, we'll see what comes.

Other than all that, today was a great day! I had one little fella that I worked with and he was a shining star today! He was so motivated to work and we just had a blast. The second little fella I worked with today was also a joy. He made me laugh as we kicked leaves outside and he giggled non-stop. So much fun! I love the fall.

Well, until next time

Michelle