10 week update

Tuesday November 8

So this past week I have been introduced to mood swings. Major mood swings. I have been so irritable and mostly caused by work. I don't know why but this week my schedule has gotten on my nerves. It just hit me that the majority of my schedule I'm in isolation with the child I'm working with because they are the more extreme cases. I have noticed in this last week that it's really starting to wear on me. I feel like such a whiner but just thought I would mention one of the many things that have come up in the last week or so.

Last week morning sickness kicked in. Well, more like night sickness. There even was one day I prayed that nobody was spying through our kitchen window because I knew I wasn't going to make it to the washroom and well...I don't need to finish that sentence. I also started having major headaches. I don't get headaches often so when I do it's like the world is ending. (Not to be dramatic or anything). It's extremely painful and there's nothing you can do but drink water. Which in turn makes you run for the washroom every 5 minutes which equals no sleep. I think it's my body's way of preparing me for the many wake up calls I'll be getting come 7 months from now. I find joy in those moments when I'm up in the night because I pretend it's an actual wakeup call and it fills me with such happiness just to think about it.

I am officially 10 weeks along today. I am so excited to be almost done the first trimester already but at the same time I don't want this pregnancy to go too fast because I want to enjoy every moment and it's hard when right now I'm sleeping through a lot of it.

Let's see, is there anything else to report? No..I think that is basically it. I am just really looking forward to next Monday when I will be having my first maternity doctor appointment. I'm really excited to meet my new doctor. She apparently runs her practice like a midwife in that she really gets to know you as a person and your plans and goals and such. As well as you have a group of people who are due around the same time as you to get to know and build some friendships with. I am really looking forward to that because to have some new friends who are not only in the same boat but also live near me would be so nice. I am excited to say the least.

Well that's all there is to report for now, hope all is well for you all

Until next time

Michelle

Why no facebook??

October 26, 2011 (I decided I would start dating these pre-created blog posts so that there's some context to when these subjects were relevant because by the time I post them they may be out of date by quite some time).

I've decided not to tell anyone outside of our immediate family until Christmas. (This didn't happen we ended up telling a lot of people at the 3 month mark) This is for a couple of reasons. I want to make sure I'm well on my way into the second trimester and Christmas is a joyous holiday (for the most part) and it just seems like a nice time to announce it to the world. That said you may have noticed that my facebook wall has been deactivated. This is to avoid any comments being made on it regarding our pregnancy. That's because in no way do I want it to get on facebook. Having struggled with infertility I know what it's like to read someone's careless announcement. I understand that it's in the excitement but if you've never been down the road of infertility you don't know how much it stabs when someone announces their joyous news. You don't mean to be negative about it. I know for myself I was always genuinely happy for them, but couldn't help feel the sting in my heart at the same time. For this I want to avoid posting anything about pregnancy until I'm ready to announce it on that level. However, that said, my blog readers are a much more remote group of people and I am happy to share it on here. Plus a blog you have the choice to read it or not, where as on facebook it just seems so much more in your face. However, as you can tell from the date I was still reluctant to share the news so broadly. I hope that makes sense. All in all I just want to be super sensitive to my friends who are still struggling and ask for your silence as well (as far as facebook goes).

X factor and pregnancy don't mix. It's an already emotional experience to watch, but add in some extra hormones and you have a freak of nature on your hands. I just sob every time someone is eliminated. Doesn't make much sense since that's the nature of the show, but I can't help but think that their dreams have just been smashed to smithereens. The logic side of my brain says, it's just one audition in their just beginning careers and that they made it this far because they have a talent to begin with. Anyways, I just noticed that I'm defending people I don't even know and that it's a tv show and nothing more. For whatever reason I'm attached to it today.

So I guess it's safe to say the hormones have taken root and that I am on the emotional side of things these days (not far from any normal day just a little more hightened). I've also seen my side of moodiness last Friday. I came home from work in a very sour mood and I knew it was time to lock myself inside away from the public when I started to get upset about slow drivers. Also my tata's are super sore. I cringe any time I have a child slam their head back against my chest (they may be sitting in front of me and throw their head backwards). This has happened a few times. It's very painful! Let's see any other things? Oh yeah, I thought I was suppose to gain weight in pregnancy, instead since I found out I've lost 6 pounds. (I'm in no way upset about this and little bean is growing just fine). I think it's due to me going to bed so early that I'm not snacking in the evening. I'm super super tired. If I see 8pm on the clock it's a victory. I can tell you as soon as the clock turns 7:30pm. That's when my body starts to shut down for the night. So sad and pathetic I know but I know it will soon pass.

As of yesterday I am 8 weeks along. So weird to think that my baby is growing inside of me and I can't feel a thing. (Other than some external things that have been mentioned already). I am so looking forward to feeling the baby kick and punch and move within me. Only 12 short weeks (3months) and that will dream will be realized. How exciting! Ok, I'm sure that's enough gushing for today. Until next time

MiChElLe

The First Ultra-sound

I left work early that day, at lunch time. It was October 12th, a Wednesday. I went and picked B up from work and we headed towards the specialist's office. She likes to do an ultra-sound before releasing her patients back to their regular doctors. They assumed I would be 7 weeks along when I knew I'm only 6 but didn't argue with them. Then we got to the office and I was told to put on this weird skirt thing that didn't have any ties on it....so it looked more like a little blanket or towel. I tried to make it look as fashionable as possible and as I sat down on the exam chair I said, I'm assuming I'm suppose to sit here, not B? haha....I'm hilarious in case you didn't know. The nurse was curteous and gave me a smile. Then the doctor came in and did the ultrasound. We were able to see our little bean's heartbeat. It was so fast and cute and sooo small. She said that I was only measuring 6 weeks and asked me if I had done any OPK tests (Ovulation tests) and I said yes and that I didn't actually O until a week later than the normal person. She said, that makes sense and was happy with what she found. She printed off a picture of our little bean and we left her office so incredibly happy. I said to B, it's funny, the last time we left here I was in tears of sadness and this time it's tears of joy. It was weird, as soon as I saw it, it was real. I bonded right away and I'm over the moon excited! After dropping B back off at work I had a few errands I had to run. I ended up stopping in one store and a few weeks ago when I first found out I had stopped in this store and found a really cute sweater that could be for either a boy or a girl and thought about buying it but decided against it. This time when I was in the store I found the same sweater, only this time it was on sale for 60% off. I couldn't pass it up and I bought the first baby item I've ever boughten for our own baby! It looks so little hanging in the big closet all by itself, but so cute at the same time. It's actually a size 9month but I figure it would be perfect for the fall (just roll up the sleeves) and then again in the spring.

Until later

Michelle

How we told our families (written on October 1)

This post is going to have some outdated parts to it. I decided I would start writing it while some of the details and events are fresh in my mind. I want to have a reference to go to when remembering how some things went down.

Starting with last Wednesday, September 21, 2011. I was at work and had a shadow (someone who watches you do your job because they are just learning - a new hire.) I was working with little ray of sunshine and he stopped what he was doing (cutting out a picture) and pointed to my tummy and said, "What's that?" I told him, "that's my tummy" and he said, "there's a baby in there" and I saddenly told him that there was not a baby in there. But that two of the other girls had babies in their tummy, but Michelle did not. He looked at the girl who was shadowing me and asked her, is there a baby in there? while pointing to her tummy and she said no. Than he turned around, stared me down and said, "Michelle has a baby too!" I was like, ok well, hopefully you're prophetic. And we moved on.

The following day, Thursday September 22, 2011 I was at work. My last session I was working with one little guy who was having an off day. By the end of the session I was crying because I was feeling frustrated and so sad to send him home that way. Because this wasn't a normal reaction to my job (I make kids cry every day) I decided that I would take a test. Not just a normal test, a pregnancy test. I have had no symptoms other than being emotional at work which could very well be chalked up to being tired with the new transition back into work after having the summer off. Anyways, I took the test. I waited the 3 long minutes and checked back in. I saw something so very light and I believed it to be the evaporation line because in order to see it I had to flip the test upside down, tilt my head, take my glasses off, start from an arm length away and slowly move it towards me before I could see it. So I didn't believe it. It was also late at night when I took it.

I reluctantly went to sleep, my mind was racing because I was also hosting a get together at my house the next day and had a million things to do on my to do list. I finally fell asleep at 2am. Woke up nice and prompt at 5. I couldn't get back to sleep so I took another test. This time a second line, faint, but clearly there showed up. I was crying and in disbelief. I was going to tell B in a really cute way but instead I ran into the room, woke him up at 6 and told him the news. He was groggy and confused but happy.

I went to work, it was Friday and I could hardly contain myself. I made some calls to the doctors and made an appointment for Saturday. My doctor had just happened to be the one on walk-in clinic duty this weekend so I could go and see her without making a formal appointment. So awesome! I hardly got through that day without saying something to someone! But I did. That evening we had a wonderful get together and when it was over I cleaned up and went straight to bed.

Saturday, I woke up, peed on a stick and the results came up positive again! I was beyond estatic. I went to my doctor where she confirmed that she too got a positive test although really faint. She asked me when I had missed my period (I know tmi) and I told her that I hadn't yet. It wasn't suppose to come until Tuesday of next week. She looked a little surprised that I was so on the ball. Than she said I could go for a blood test if I wanted but I didn't have to since it was already confirmed to be in my urine. But I asked to go cause B just wouldn't believe it until it was confirmed by blood. So Monday I went for a blood test. The next day I called for my results and the lady on the other end told me, not so clearly, that I am indeed pregnant. She said, "We're not normally suppose to give the results over the phone, but I think I can in this case, but what did your doctor say?" and I said "she told me to come in, in another 2 weeks if it's positive." than the lady said, "Well, I guess we'll see you in two weeks". I was like, what? Does that mean I am? and she said, yes. Tricky little lady. I am delusional right now!

We told a close couple friend of ours later that afternoon. We went mini-golfing and started dropping hints along the way. She had asked B if we were pregnant, but since no one else was around them at that time he denied it. When we went out for dinner we were all sitting there and B told her, I lied. She was like, what? and her husband said, "What are you talking about?" and then we told them our news. It was so crazy. They were happy because she too is pregnant!

We also told my sister and her husband. We had always said that we each were able to pick one safe couple to tell. With my sister because she lives so far away, I had to tell her via skype. I was talking with her and had previously set the timer on the oven. When it went off I told her I was baking something and needed to go get it. I asked her, do you want to see what's in the oven? She said, sure. So I brought the computer over and lowered the screen so she could see and inside the oven sat a bun. Her first thought was, "you're making a sandwich?" than she thought about it and started to scream and cry and it was so exciting! The funny thing was that just minutes before telling them, my niece asked me if I was going to have any kids anytime soon and that she wanted a baby cousin.

Last night, September 30th, 2011. We went and told B's parents. We lead it up by telling them about B's work and how that's going and the good news he got there. Than he said that Michelle's been diagnosed with gravida (the latin word for pregnant) and that I'll have to go in for a procedure in June. (B's mom is a nurse so we wanted to see if she would get it). We let them ponder on it for mere moments and then B said, it's a latin word for...um...what is it again?.....oh yeah pregnant. It took a moment and then the screaming happened and hugs and it was really a great moment.

On the evening of October 4th we told my Dad and Sheila, we invited them over for dinner. On the menu was baby back ribs (which I was so nervous about since I had never made ribs before), baby potatoes, baby honey carrots, baby spinich salad and for dessert little cinnamon rolls that were out of the oven. They clued in pretty quick but didn't want to say anything in case it wasn't what they thought. Then we gave them a card that was to congratulate them on their new home and we signed it, Brenton, Michelle and Baby B. At first Sheila thought baby B was our bird but then we quickly let her in on our secret.

Then Friday October 7th we flew into Winnipeg and drove out to my mom's place. When we walked in we had a quick visit before she asked if we were hungry. Of course I'm always hungry so I said yes. B asked, what's baby hungry for? and I said I could go for a toasted tomato sandwich (can't get enough tomatoes). My mom asked right away, are you pregnant and I said yes. It was very exciting!

Sunday October 9th we skyped in with B's oldest brother and his wife and we told them how we had made this trip and B was meeting some of my friends and some of my family he hasn't met yet and that this was a really good trip and then we will take another trip in June to meet one more person. They asked where we would be going and we said, "Oh just to the hospital in Kelowna" and then they got all excited and shouted, "You're pregnant?!" It was so fun!

Right after that skype date ended we skyped my brother and Becky and told them to look to the right. The week before I had stopped in at their house and while Cameron was in the shower I put a gift bag in their office beside their computer. They looked to the right and saw the gift bag. I told them it was a Thanksgiving gift. They opened up the card first and it was a funny Turkey card. Inside the card was a picture of the blue room (the nursery) and on the back it said, you're canvas. Inside the gift was a paint by number animal book. When we first bought the house last year I had asked my brother that when the time came would he paint a mural of animals for the nursery. So I told him, it's time. He and Becky were so excited. Becky said, "You have to say it out loud" and I told her, "I'm pregnant" and both her and Cameron's arms went straight in the air like they were cheering for a goal. It was really cute.

The following day, Monday, we skyped with B's brother Travis and his wife Mandy. B dragged out the news to which seemed like forever. They were just hanging there like, get on with it, just tell us already. He was talking about how his new job is going and how we both got promotions and that I won't be starting mine for quite some time yet.

When we got back to Kelowna on Tuesday our first stop was at B's other brother's house, Aaryn and his wife Tifni. We wanted to tell them in person since they live so close. As we were telling them, they shouted out, "are you pregnant?" and we said yes! It was fun.

With my step-sister, I gave her the news the same way she gave me hers (yes she's pregnant too). Facebook messaging. I wrote her a lengthy email telling her about our news and asking about her process. It was so great messaging back and forth fun details and questions and such.

I know I'm leaving out a lot of details but that's because I wasn't good and writing them down immediately so some of the details have left my head. Dagnabit. But over all our news was greatly received and I'm so Thankful. It's been such a long journey to get to this place and I am eagerly awaiting the next nine months to go by. But at the same time I want to soak in the experience of being pregnant.

Announcement (written on October 2)

On September 22, I took a test. It came out positive! I was in shock! I was over joyed, I was confused and scared. I will have another update on that whole process at a later time. Having had a miscarriage this brought on a huge amount of emotion and fears. I would go to the washroom every so often just to make sure nothing was wrong. I am a bit of a nervous wreck but excited at the same time. Having been down that road it has robbed me of a care-free pregnancy. I have got to learn to surrender my worries and allow God to handle it. I have been praying with all my heart that this baby sticks and that in early June we will welcome the newest member in our family. Inigo is ready to be a big brother! (Inigo is our bird).

At this time we ask that no one post anything on facebook. For sensitivity reasons we want to keep it semi-private and we thank you for your respect at this time.

Have a very Merry Chirstmas!

Michelle

3 year old Birthday parties!

Last night we celebrated my niece's 3rd birthday. It was really fun. We had some dinner, than opened presents and then had some cake/fruit. She's going to be quite an event coordinator when she grows up because she would get people to come and colour or play with her. It was funny. We got her this one particular gift and the dry erase marker that comes with it had dried out. How is that even possible since it was brand new still in the package? So that will be on our to do list sometime in the next couple of days to pick up a new dry erase marker to replace the lame one that came with the book.

I guess a 3 year old party wears me out because as soon as we got home I went to bed. I have no idea why I was so tired. Oh right I do, I had had a nightmare the other night that I couldn't get back to sleep after (I actually avoided going to back to sleep) and so my day started out super early and I had kept myself busy all day -resulting in no nap. So I guess that's why I was tuckered out. But I still had a super great time! And we get to see the whole family again tonight because it's Christmas Eve and then again tomorrow because it's Christmas day! So awesome!!! I love this time of year. So much family time! I still have to wrap B's stocking gifts and make mooseballs. (They're a type of cookie I make at Christmas time). And I guess finish decorating some of the sugar cookies I made. Half of them are done, that counts right?

Well, there will be a post tomorrow so if you find yourself bored after all the hype has died down, feel free to stop on by and have a read :)

Have a very Merry Christmas!

Michelle

That was Wednesday

Good morning! I slept in today until 8:30!!! Woot!! So exciting! I am getting way to use to this Christmas break thing, I think I've had a nap every single day so far. I better not get too use to that or going back to work is going to be a rude wakeup call. I am kind of excited to go back to work because I have a brand new schedule with a lot of kids I've never worked with before. It's going to be hard at first (coming up with a bag of tricks per kid) but a lot of fun and it will definitely get my mind racing with creativity. I'm really in shock that I don't have 2 specific kids on my schedule since I've had one for a year and the other a year and a half. It's going to be so weird to not be with them. I am excited to see how they blossom with other BI's though. (I will still see them, just won't be one on one with them).

Yesterday was a fun day. I woke up (way too early - hence the needing a nap later in the day) and I worked on my sewing project. I thought I had sort of figured it out but because the step included cutting some of the fabric I wanted to make sure I had it right. So I took the pattern and my project to the fabric store to ask someone that has some experience. Boy am I glad I did! I didn't have it on correct, in fact I had it on upside down. It took the lady a good while to figure out what the pattern was saying too so I didn't feel so dumb. But once we figured it out it was like, that was the most unclear instructions in the world and the dang illustration was no help whatsoever. In order to get the collar on properly you had to pin and sew it in an upside down fashion so that when you flipped it over it was in the right direction. (see my instructions are so much more clear than the patterns). Geez! Who writes those things any ways? It doesn't need to be in code. Oh and have I mentioned how much I love youtube? For every new stitch they announce I'm like what does that mean? So I go onto youtube and watch a tutorial! Thank you random ladies for making those for people like me!

Anyways that was only part of my day yesterday. I also went for lunch with my beautiful sister-in-law Becky. We first started out by going to Milestones. First we battled the parking lot madness (it shares a parking lot with the mall). Than when we finally got a spot we walked inside and the hostess told us it was going to be at least a 25 minute wait. (Yikes, my tummy was already growling) so we decided to go downtown to the Bread Company since Becky had never been there before and they also offer a gluten free menu. So we headed down that way. We had a yummy lunch(never disappointed there) and then headed off to do some shopping. It was really fun hanging out. She told me about work a little bit and we just had a really good time! I miss seeing her as often as I use to when I lived on the other side of the lake. (We call it coming to your country when we come to each other's house because we technically have to cross a body of water to get there and some days it seems so far even though it's only like 40 minute drive).

Than I came home at about 3:30. By 4 I had crawled into bed and had a hearty nap. When I woke up I picked up my sewing project and decided to tackle it. I started to look at it and got confused all over again. Now how did we say this would work? I fiddled and then I got frustrated so I went to my facebook to distract myself for a bit. Than I got really determined and finally figured it out. As soon as I had the answer I did the sticking of the pins and ran (ok, briskly walked) to the sewing machine and sewed it before it fell out. haha. I am proud to say the top is complete! YAY! Today I will tackle the skirt and attach it to the bodice and do the hem and it shall be complete!

Today I also plan on making some sugar cookies and I'm going to try my hand at royal icing. I've never made it or worked with it before. Another adventure to encounter. Also on lists of things that need to be done today would include Christmas shopping for the B and than I can say I'm done (until January anyways).

Until next time,

Michelle